


Every Life has a Moment

by Laurabella2930



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: AU, Angst, Best Friends, College Oliver and Felicity, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Lost Love, Oliver and Felicity, Slow Burn, Soulmates, lost chances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 19:05:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9917024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurabella2930/pseuds/Laurabella2930
Summary: Felicity's parent's died when she was only five years old. The Queen family with their seven year old son Oliver and year old daughter Thea took the young girl in. A friendship bloomed and now as Felicity is about to graduate from college one moment could change everything including the friendship that saved her soul. I suck at summaries so please just it a shot...





	1. Building Walls

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SuperSillyAndDorky06](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperSillyAndDorky06/gifts).



> Okay so lately I've had a nasty case of writer's block. I have a prompt I can't finish and about three other stories that need to be revisited. I'm just lacking the motivation to keep writing because well the muse within is lacking for inspiration. I wrote this piece for myself, I wanted to see if I could create something that spoke to a bond that not even time or rejection could break. I hope you like it and I hope that it perhaps feeds your soul the way it did mine. Also I decided to dedicate this to Matty because she was the one who told me to keep going; without her I doubt I would have. 
> 
> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

**Every Life has a Moment**

 

Every life has a moment... No everyone’s life has a key moment? Or should it be every person will experience a key moment?” 

Felicity dragged the graphite tip along the crinkled mass of paper beneath her tapping fingers then hovered over the illusive first line. She cocked her confused head while the curled brown tendrils fell freely over her bare left shoulder. The camisole strap slipped down the angled slope of her scapula when she moved the pencil back down to the second paragraph. “No...” she muttered lightly between clenched teeth, “It should stay here but then I would lose this line and then the bottom half won’t make any sense!” 

The indent in her furrowed brow grew as she sighed, “I’m never going to get this right...” 

The chuckle from the headboard of her cramped on leg room bed made her nearly snap the pencil in two. “No you’re never going to get to the point where you feel its perfect is what you should be muttering.” 

Felicity ran her nervous fingers through her maddening hair while growling, “This coming from the professional slacker...”  

Her best friend smirked, “I’m not the one who’s going to be bald by morning now am I?” 

Felicity’s fingers froze near the nape of her neck; she tapped along the taut skin before sighing in defeat, “Why can’t you just come with me? You know be my moral support while a crowd of eager minds laps up every stupid word I can hopefully deliver?” 

Those devious blue eyes slanted into two nearly invisible silts. The small worry lines near those fairly perfect lashes fluttered easily over the sharp contours of her favorite slacker’s cheek bones. Felicity crossed her legs at the ankles then flashed her sometimes roommate a dazzling grin. Her counterpart in turn huffed, “Felicity I’m not going to sit in a crowd filled with well wishers while you stand on a stage and nervously sweat.” 

She nodded briefly before her chin fell squarely to her small chest. “You’d do it for Thea....” she mumbled contritely. 

 “She’s also my baby sister!” Oliver groaned exhaustedly. 

“Yeah but you’re my best friend!” Felicity blurted out within moments of his last words. 

He grumbled as the mattress beneath his solid body groaned. “What time is the damn ceremony again?” 

Felicity glanced up slowly with a small grin, “At noon,” she instantly supplied while she rolled the pencil between her thumb and index finger. 

She caught the sparkle of surrender in those endless blue depths. “I must really love you,” he commented lowly so only dogs could hear his garbled reply. 

Her eyes radiated with eternal warmth, “I love you too slacker,” she mused while she tapped the pencil’s tip along the elusive first paragraph. 

Oliver let himself slip until his head was positioned over her rumbled pillow. She shot him a small glance when he breathed, “They’ll be in the crowd tomorrow...” 

She nodded involuntarily while giving her distracted reply, “I know they sent me the flowers you see on my bedside table.” 

She saw him glance at the arrangement of red roses and glare mournfully. “You’d think you were their child instead of me,” he sighed deeply with a tinge of resentment. 

Felicity shrugged off the minced words and dropped the pencil on the desk. She shifted on the small back stool until her palms were over her bent knees. She saw his eyes scan over her slumped form with regret, “You know I didn’t mean anything by that right?” he asked somberly. 

She gave him the required slow nod of empathy before she rubbed her palms over the soft, black fabric of her faded sweatpants. “Still if my parent’s hadn’t died when I was five you and I may never have met so I can’t feel the same way,” she croaked like the worn grooves of an old record.

His eyes shot to the ceiling as his fingers met over his toned stomach. She watched him carefully as he slowly digested her words. His chiseled jaw moved slightly while he slowly began to grind his otherwise perfect back molars. His furrowed brow hid the beauty of his eyes while his full lips were pursed into a nearly invisible line. His long legs were crossed at the ankles while the bare heels of his feet rested just over the bed’s edge. She watched the small, rhythmic movements of his chest and stomach while he searched for the right words. 

“They love you Oliver,” she commented quietly as he continued to stare somberly at her popcorn ceiling.

His eyes shot forward landing on her hooded stare as his lips formed a timid smile, “I’m hoping they aren’t the only ones,” he chided with mild humor. 

Felicity grabbed an older draft of her commencement speech and threw the crumbled ball at his head. He let the paper bullet hit his forehead as he smiled proudly. “Seriously?” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes then replied, “You’re avoiding your feelings again.” 

“Maybe, but flirting with you is just so tempting...” he deflected as Felicity slowly rose. She watched his body shudder in amusement so she decided to test the waters. Felicity first shook her hips playfully. Oliver wagged his brows then hiccupped, “Haha very funny Felicity…” while she did a semi-turn before his bemused form.  His laugher made her bold but, her heart was bursting within her ribcage. His eyes widened a bit as she slipped her fingers beneath the waistband of her sweats. She bit at her lower lip then batted her long lashes. He seemed shocked but still his intrigued body responded when he inched himself upward until his shoulders were scrunched up next to his ears. His fingers were by his torso as he used the points of his elbows to balance his weight. He gulped nervously, “Ummm Felicity?” 

Her lashes flashed as her surprised eyes rose. His blue eyes blazed with an emotion that she’d only seen once… She mumbled softly with a giggle lodged in her throat, “Yeah baby?” in a vain attempt to calm her growing nerves.  

His eyebrows shot up to his seemingly surprised hairline, “Felicity!” he yelped awkwardly. 

With her heart lodged in her drying throat she shot him an annoyed eye roll. His lips parted briefly before she decided to let him in on the game. She pulled at the elastic waistband until it snapped loudly over her hip bone, “You said you wanted to flirt...” she drooled in annoyance. “I’m simply responding in kind,” she mocked with false sincerity. 

Oliver’s lips fell into deep frown as he realized his mistake. “Right,” he sighed almost instantly. “You’re not my girlfriend of the week...” his apology made her head bob in silent agreement as she began to tap her feet nervously along the floor.  

Felicity pulled her fingers up to her elbows, “No I’m just someone who genuinely loves you,” she mumbled as she dragged her fingers over her upper arms. She let the air around them fill with unspoken words as she pondered if he truly knew just how deep her love for him went.  

He tilted his head noticing the faraway look in her eyes and beckoned softly, “Willing to share?” 

She saw him shift his hips to the left side as he spoke. She couldn’t help but smile at the double meaning lumbering forward until her knees were against his toes. “When your parents took me in they saved my life but it’s my relationship with you that saved my soul do you understand that? Do you understand how much I value what we have?” she asked while her tone demanded a simple yes or no. 

Oliver tapped at her knees with his wiggling toes. She smiled at the small gesture and bumped his big toe with her knee cap. His pushed his arms outward until he’d fallen completely backward. She bit the inside of her cheek once she noticed that his head was once again in line with the middle of her pillow. He pushed his palms down to his waist and tapped gently at the newly formed free space. “I’m sorry Felicity, I’m sorry that I was insensitive yet again,” he groaned as she crawled over the bed’s edge and toward the space by his chest. 

She patted at his bent knee before she placed her cheek over his softly beating heart; the soft fabric of his flannel shirt rubbed over her satin like skin as she gently cuddled into his side. With her fingers still wrapped around her forearms she curled her calves around his crossed lower legs. He in turn managed to snake his arm around her shoulders before he moved his fingers into the tendrils of her long, dark hair. She waited until his long, dexterous fingers were combing through her soft locks before she sighed, “I know they favor me over you and, I know it hurts but they’re just overcompensating and you know it.” 

She felt the low tenor of his hearty chuckle as it rumbled over her cheek, “They don’t do this to Thea...” 

“Well she was only a year old when they brought me home Oliver, you were seven and used to being the center of attention...” that comment made him chuckle loudly as he brought his free hand to rest over his belly button. 

“Yeah you were five and a pain in the ass...” 

Felicity nudged his chest with the tip of her nose, “Either way...they wanted me to feel loved and in the process we became best friends.” 

She felt him “hmmm” in agreement. 

“So you’ll really be in the front row?” she squeaked hopefully with her fluttering lashes catching over his flannel shirt. 

He grumbled, “Again I must really love you...” 

She rubbed her cheek up and down in affirmation, “I know you do...” Something in her tone felt forced but, she pushed the thought aside while she allowed herself to enjoy the stolen moment of perfect intimacy.

He moved his fingers up his stomach and over his sternum until the pads of his index and middle fingers were beneath the chin. She let him push her face away from his chest as he’d done many times before. He tilted his own chin so his chest moved beneath her skin. His soft kiss over the crown of her head made her heart swell warmly as he pushed her chin gently upward. She smiled warmly as he whispered, “Do you?” 

She pursued her usually babbling lips lightly the squeaked, “Yeah like an annoying little sister who....” 

Her lips froze when he slowly began to trail his index finger up over the tip of her chin and towards her o shaped lips. Her breath caught in her throat as he grazed his thumb over her bottom lip. She felt his fingers curling around the nape of her neck as she voluntarily titled her head even further. He lowered his chin then whispered, “You know it’s deeper than that…” 

Felicity gulped deeply, “Your trail of endless girlfriends would indicate otherwise my friend.”

“Perhaps I’m scared of rejection,” he snickered gently as his beautiful mouth fell into a dazzling half smile.

She felt her thumbs brushing over her goosebump covered skin. Her body was covered in frayed nerves while he held her closely. She gazed into the eyes that had seen her through her failed prom night. She smiled shyly when she remembered how he’d kissed her lips gently as she cried through the stolen moment. She remembered every second they’d shared as she quietly replied, “I think the chances of rejection would be quite low…”

He snickered nervously which made her giggle as he said, “And yet here I am holding you with a rattled heart…”

Felicity having recovered a bit of wit threw out a veiled question. “Then why the look of alarm when you thought I might be undressing before your very eyes?” The brush of his thumb pad over her moving lips sent lines of fire racing through her inexperienced core. Her calves tightened over his legs as her body sought for more than she’d ever dreamed he’d be willing to give.

He leaned in closer; she took an unsteady breath as their noses grazed. He swallowed a harsh gulp of air then replied, “Because I’ve never been with someone I’m in love with.” 

Felicity’s eyes widened in complete shock, “Excuse me what?” she gasped as he trailed his fingers down the slope of her extended throat.

He chuckled nervously as their lips hovered over the others. She could feel the heat of each rapid exhale over her moistened lips. Her stomach knotted in confusion as his lips danced dangerously close to hers. “So I’m guessing you’re a bit shocked?” he croaked lowly.

She swallowed a gnarled, “Yeah,” then hiccupped, “I just don’t understand…”

Their lips nearly met when he mumbled, “How I could love you or how I couldn’t seem to tell you?”

She hiccupped again nervously, “I’m going with both…”

Their lips grazed briefly when his roaming fingers began to caress the arch of her collarbone. “It was like a switch was flipped,” he rambled as his fingers grazed over the fallen strap of her camisole. “I was walking along minding my own business with my arms wrapped around some nameless girl when I realized I’d rather have my arms wrapped around you...” 

Felicity’s heart froze, “Was the nameless girl Tiffany,” she joked lamely as he laughed lowly. “I spend hours thinking about you Felicity.”

Her heart stopped cold. “I can recount everything you’ve ever told me from the time you were five. I can tell you when you stopped liking certain foods, I can pinpoint when your favorite color changed and, even when you first understood heartbreak.” His calm tone left her almost breathless as he continued. “I could trace the contours of your face until I was old and I’d still found something new to cherish and, while it scares me it also wakes me up.” Her lungs burned from lack of air and, still she couldn’t breathe. He mused almost wordlessly, “I knew I loved you when I looked forward to simply hearing your voice…”

She finally inhaled deeply before exhaling, “You’re serious aren’t you?”

Oliver pressed his forehead against hers, “Yes Felicity I am,” he murmured as their lips finally met. The kiss was soft, warm, tender and timid as they each accepted the newly announced facts. He nibbled along her bottom lip as she carefully tasted the contours of his full upper lip. She could detect salt, mint and maybe even vanilla as she traced along the inner line of his lip with her eager tongue. He too moved his tongue slowly along her own when she’d finished exploring the small area. She could feel the small bumps and ridges of his tongue as it brushed roughly along her own. She felt her grip weakening over her upper arms as her body began to surrender to the new sensations.

Felicity groaned deeply into the intense kiss as Oliver used the fingers at the nape of her neck to grab at a loose section of hair. She screamed lowly until the echoes of her voice vibrated through his expanding rib cage. He tugged at her hair darkly while his other hand began roaming freely beneath the thin fabric of her now barely there camisole. The fabric brushing along her trembling fingers caused her to react vocally.

She gasped “Oliver we can’t...” right before she managed to reach for his forearm. 

He growled against her swollen lips, “Why not?” 

She pressed her nails into his warm skin and nearly choked, “Because what if we break up!” 

His lips froze over her own. Their eyes met. His were filled with the storm of many raging emotions while hers were filled with love, longing and most importantly fear. She gulped sadly, “I won’t lie and say I don’t love you but I also won’t lie and say I’d be willing to risk us...” 

His heartaching smile made her regret saying anything at all, “You’re in love with me yes or no?”

She squared her jaw and felt his growing smile brushing against her parted lips. She slanted her eyes and growled deeply, “I’m more than in love with you Oliver but that is beside the point.”

He moved his thumb over her lower ribcage and pecked her bottom lip, “Oh no you don’t Felicity…I gave you my words I want yours too…”

“Want to do want to hear?” she grumbled as he traced along underside of her left breast.

Her body shuddered violently when he whispered along her panting mouth, “When did you fall in love with me?”

Her body was ready to explode when she panted, “Prom…”

His touch along her teeming skin paused. He pulled back slightly so their foreheads could touch. She managed to catch her breath before uttering, “I see that threw you a bit…”

He gulped, “That means….”

“Yeah,” she interrupted, “I’ve been in love with you for over four years.”

She felt the tip of his nose over hers as he inhaled deeply, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well I was 18 and you were 20…oh and I thought you were in love with Laurel,” she mumbled innocently.

She felt his forehead skirting along her blushing skin. The way his lips seemed to dance perfectly over hers made something inside her stomach dance. Her fingers ached to caress his scruffed jaw but she hesitated when he breathed, “I kissed you out of love that night not pity Felicity.”

She felt her knotted fingers moving along his sculpted forearm, while she used her other hand to carefully cup his whiskered cheek. He carefully rubbed his nose along hers when she whispered in a bit of remorse, “Did you ever love Laurel?”

He choked back a small indignant growl before issuing his own heartfelt confession, “I loved her like I was supposed to yes but if doesn’t compare to what I’ve always known I’d feel with you.”

Felicity groaned, “That night when my boyfriend broke my heart,”

He swallowed a gnarled, “I wanted to kill him for hurting you…”

She hiccupped in glee but added, “When you kissed me did you realize you felt something more?”

His cobalt blue eyes made her thighs clench, “Would you think less of me if I said yes?”

She pulled her thumb over his bottom lip and leaned forward until her lips were at the corner of his slight smile. “I’ve been in love with you for over four years I think I’d be hypocrite if I did…” she mumbled into the tender kiss.

His smile grew but hers simply faded. She pressed her index finger over his cheekbone as he said in painful realization, “You’re making a mistake Felicity.”

She nodded in complete agreement, “I agree but I can’t lose you.”

He kissed her roughly with need and urgency as she grabbed at his shirt. His tongue felt warm and welcome as he deepened the intensifying kiss. She moaned when his fingers slid over her pebbled nipple, her back arched when his thumb pressed along the aroused tip. She groaned in endless hunger, “Please don’t take this any further…”

Oliver’s fingers traveled to her sternum, she gulped as they each parted for air. “I won’t lose you Oliver,” she panted breathlessly with her palms along his cheeks.

His trembling lips felt feverish along her own, “You’re never going to lose me Felicity, I’m always going to love you...” 

She argued gently, “And I you but...” and this is when she kissed him chastely while holding his face between her shaking hands, “I don’t just love you Oliver, I need you and I can’t risk the bond we have over the chance of something that could end. Do you understand?” 

She saw the sting of rejection in his tender stare. She pressed her lips to his once more as she gently implored, “Please don’t feel rejected...” 

He coughed awkwardly, “Hard not to Felicity...” 

“Touch my heart,” she implored urgently. She felt his fingers dragging along the lines of her ribs, she gulped in arousal but remained focused on the message she’d yet to convey. His touch felt warm as he carefully traced along the damp skin. She pleaded profusely when his fingers were dancing over her racing pulse, “This is not the feeling of rejection Oliver, this is the feeling of elation, of arousal, of longing, and of love. My heart is racing because despite my words I do want you but...” she added hastily as his lips curved, “I need my best friend more...” 

He relented sadly, “I’m completely in love with you…”

She nearly cried in reply, “And I’m hopelessly in love with you.”

Oliver’s damp brow rested heavily against her own in sadness, “Can I still spend the night?” he croaked sadly.

She nodded against his skin, “I don’t want us to change,” she remarked.  

He then nodded while uttering, “I still think you’re making a mistake.” 

She traced his bottom lip with her thumbs, “Perhaps,” she whispered sadly. “Perhaps...” 

He kissed her fingerprints softly before nuzzling her forehead once last time.

She sighed with a heavy heart as the wall between them began to grow.

He still pulled her chest to his own as he slowly shifted onto his side. She kept their legs twined as he placed his palm over her exposed upper back. She yawned along his collar, “We’re forever right?” 

He whispered delicately, “Yeah Felicity we’re for always...” before the invisible wall between them reached its final towering height.

 


	2. Black Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's one year later and they've grown a bit as people and they've argued over their mutual feelings. Now during a snow storm stuff happens some walls crumble for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

 

Black Out

 

 

1 year later...

Felicity gazed out her third story bedroom window and watched as the snow began to slowly fill the sidewalks of the streets below. She curled her legs into her chest and brushed her fingers over her old, favorite sweatpants. Her half empty cup of coffee was still steaming beside her on the couch side table, her blonde hair was pulled into a high ponytail, and her glasses were resting over the bridge of her nose. She sighed to the empty the room, “I miss him...” and smirked when the howling wind made the walls of her aging building creak. 

She could almost hear them chanting, “Call him, call him, call him,” as she stared wordlessly out the slightly fogged over glass. Her phone laid at her side innocently as her nimble fingers traced slowly over the small keyboard keys. Her thumb was over the call button when it buzzed beneath her startled touch. Her eyes shot downward swiftly as her lips curled into a giddy smile. She pressed the speaker button and laughed happily once his voice was bouncing off her empty walls. 

“So....quick question,” he started like she was about to make a deal with the devil. 

Felicity’s patented eye roll came before her practiced line, “Okay hotshot how long is this home invasion for?” 

She heard him chewing at his cheek as he muttered lowly, “Ummmm a week?” 

“You and Laurel bickering again I take it?” she asked almost out of habit. 

He too gave a patented reply, “Yes and before you say it no I’m going to make this break up stick.” 

She nodded wordlessly then breathed, “I assume you’re outside my door?” 

She heard the cylinder of her locks moving before he’d managed to mumble out a simple response. Felicity ended the call and glanced eagerly over her left shoulder. There he stood with small, melting flakes of snow littered over his dark brown leather coat. Felicity cocked her head when he began brushing the droplets of water onto her dark, hardwood floors. “Ummm dear what are you doing?” she asked with a bit of a screech to her voice. 

Oliver winked slyly as he pulled a small suitcase in behind him, “Dear is a new one honey...” 

Felicity immediately scowled, “I thought we banned those particular nicknames after that night in my dorm room?” 

She watched him move around her small kitchen with controlled ease. He quickly undid his coat and threw it over the chair near the back wall of the semi-usable kitchen nook. He then pushed his suitcase into the side closet before using his right heel to push her door closed. She marveled a bit at the way he moved around her space with ease and comfort. “You’d think you lived here,” she commented easily while Oliver continued moving with ease through her small home. He laughed richly which made her heart swell. “I missed you too Felicity,” he remarked as her eyes fell to the floor. She ignored her feelings of warmth by pushing her phone towards the other side of the couch and uncurling her aching legs. Oliver continued to move about the few inches of space between her two burner stove and the row of cabinets she’d installed upon first moving in. “Are you avoiding my question?” she asked simply to distract her wandering mind as she pressed her toes along the cold fabric of her area rug. 

He opened the pantry door and pulled out two bags of Earl Grey tea before mumbling, “We banned a few things after that night in your dorm room...” 

Felicity shot him a dirty look but remained frozen in place. “I thought we both agreed on not discussing that particular lost moment?” 

“No you agreed I simply nodded like a kicked puppy,” he responded as he flicked the kitchen faucet on. 

She heard the cold water clicking along the inside of the tea kettle as he filled the chrome colored pot. “I did offer to talk about it...” she protested all be it weakly.  

He scoffed, “Yeah about a week later baby...” 

“Seriously? baby? Come on Oliver you know we can’t keep acting like those nicknames are normal for two people in a friendship only relationship!” she squeaked a bit too lowly for it to make any lasting impact. 

He placed the kettle over the smaller of the two burners before his slanted gaze met her widened one. “Anyways...” he interjected to diffuse the tension that always seemed to grow when they were alone, “since we both know this will end in a fight did I disrupt any weekend plans?” 

She pushed her fingers toward the ceiling and stretched upwards until her toes felt numb. “I had a date but I’m going to cancel because of the snow,” she yawned before she began stumbling toward her seat at the two person table. 

“You’re still seeing that Cooper character then?” Oliver asked as the kettle began to scream with billowing steam. 

“Yeah but he’s just a way to pass the time,” she admitted before her body fell eagerly onto yet another flat surface. Oliver’s timid eyes fell over her slumped shoulders as his dexterous fingers placed the two teabags into two cups of boiling water. 

“Are you sure you aren’t cancelling because I showed up at your doorstep?” 

Felicity rolled her neck until each side cracked. She heard Oliver’s tongue click along his bottom teeth in disgust. She wrinkled her nose in humor as she giggled, “No and you still hate it when I do that don’t you?” 

He placed the red cup before her ready hands; she took the offered beverage in greed as her trembling lips ached for the warmth of the soothing liquid. Oliver sat opposite her with his very own green mug. She smiled over the edge with her bright eyes and murmured, “So why are you really here?” 

He teased her with a sideways glance; she in turn pushed her toes along his calf. He choked on his now cooling tea then muttered a strangled, “Now how is that not crossing boundaries?” 

She shrugged with her cup at her smiling lips. He rolled those endless blue orbs and babbled, “Yes I hate it when you crack your neck; I’m really here because I want to talk and third I think you do to.” 

“I never want to talk,” she mumbled coarsely.

Oliver’s smile made her heart flutter rapidly, “Well I do,” he said with no pretense.

Felicity took a slow sip, “Does it have to do with our argument six months ago?” she whispered once the tea was flowing through her warmed belly.

Oliver’s guarded eyes flickered honestly when he said, “Yes because it was true then and it’s still true now…”

Felicity felt the air around her shift. The disagreement six months ago had been about the now very torrid subject of their mutual feelings. She didn’t want to move forward and he as usual did. They shared few kisses before she once again put up another cement wall. Oliver went back to Laurel and she returned to the unwanted advances from Cooper. She cocked her head and glanced through her blonde tresses, “Okay...but first I have a simple question and yes it’s very important...” she teased casually to delay the fight she knew was brewing.

Oliver nearly choked on his tea but as she expected he didn’t miss a single beat. “I like the blonde hair Felicity but I also liked your natural color as well,” he rambled as her eyes fluttered happily. 

“I like that you can read my mind,” she mentioned gently knowing that he’d make a stomach churning reply.

“Not always,” he noted with sadness in his beautiful voice. 

He leaned forward as he placed his cup on the small, aging table. She in turn inched closer and mirrored his previous actions. His head bowed as her’s did, he licked his lips as she pursued her own together, they each were about to make a statement but each was at a loss of where to begin. Felicity wanted to discuss the change in their ebb and flow and, Oliver wanted to push the issue of them becoming more. They each wanted something but, neither was willing to approach the growing wall between them. 

“You wanna start,” he whispered as they each traded timid stares. 

She chewed at her bottom lip; his eyes darted to his cooling cup as she hiccupped, “We’ll just make a mess of it like we did the last time...” 

His low growl of annoyance made her cringe, “Felicity are you still in love with me yes or no?” 

She inwardly screamed. He of course went straight for the kill shot leaving her to resume her part of their now well rehearsed play. Her eyes flickered forward momentarily before dropping back to her knotted fingers; “Of course I am,” she sighed as always.

“Then why the hell are we still having this argument?” he pleaded almost helplessly while his heart bled before her eyes.

Her eyes watered and her lungs burned as her body began its own internal war. “It’s not about that...” she started weakly. 

“It is for me because I’m still in love with you,” he interrupted quickly. 

She slumped further on the kitchen stool. Oliver traced his index finger around the rim of his mug, she groaned, “Why can’t you just accept that what we have is beyond a simple kind of love? Why can’t that be enough for you?” 

The warmth in his eyes faded into an icy glare, “The fact that you can say that tells me how far the wall between us has grown,” he nearly glowered with his shredded heart. 

Felicity’s heart froze as her blood began to boil through her pain filled veins. She felt the ice in her heart blocking the heat of her blood as her booming voice came cascading through her trembling lips. “THE WALL WENT UP BECAUSE I’M AFRAID TO LOVE YOU!” 

Oliver’s mouth fell as she panted out her concluding thoughts through her strangled voice. “I’m afraid of being in love okay; I’m afraid of letting someone into my life only to then have them taken away like my parents.” She faltered when she added, “I barely survived their loss but if I lost you I’d be utterly destroyed...” 

Oliver’s fingers fell to the table as she slid hers down to her lap. His calm stare wrecked her rattled nerves, his even voice made her body shake with repressed rage. “Felicity running from me is going to destroy you as well.” 

She nearly broke her fingers when she lowly screamed, “No running is the only way to make sure you never leave...” 

She saw his fingers tapping along the center of the table; his body was taut like a panther while her’s was coiled like a rattlesnake. They both knew how the other felt but, sadly they both also wanted to win the final round in their never ending feud. He sighed miserably, “You aren’t like the others baby, you’re my one...” when she refused to touch his tapping fingers.

She choked back a smug, “Yeah like Laurel was?’ 

Sadly he heard it and fired back just as cruelly, “At least I admitted how I felt all you’re willing to do is run until you convince me to stop chasing you.” 

She untied her fingers and slowly dragged them down her thighs, “Then stop chasing me and start chasing a woman who will give you a future.” 

“Or you could stop running and accept that you’re afraid because you know the only future that matters is one with you...” 

His interruption made her heart stutter. “I don’t know that,” she muttered lowly. 

He chuckled coldly, “You’ve known that since the night of your college graduation...” 

Her eyes grew colder than winter when she heaved in anger, “You swore you didn’t hear that!” 

He flipped his hand until the backs of his knuckles were lying over the grains of her kitchen table. She stared at his open palm menacingly, “I’m not in the mood to hold hands Oliver...” 

His eyes fell, his lips parted, and his rich tenor weaved through her confused heart with purpose as he said, “I felt your head leave my shoulder...” She flushed remembering how careful she’d been when trying to escape his hold. Her cheeks warmed when he continued with warmth radiating through his soft tone, “I kept my body still and my eyes shut because I knew the second I so much as twitched you’d be down the hall and to the street.” 

She mumbled as he paused to breathe, “I traced along the lines of your palm until I found your lifeline.” 

Oliver’s smile made her constricted muscles ease, “I felt the lines of your fingerprints burning along my aching flesh as you carefully whispered your feelings to the silent room,” he smiled with peace radiating through his heart. 

“I’m afraid of loving you,” she whispered as she had that night. “I’m afraid of being another nameless body that serves to fill you with bravado, but I’m most afraid of what comes when I realize I’m not...” 

He picked up the rest of her hidden feelings by recalling her last soul crushing line, “I’m afraid because I know you’re the one...I know that once I let you fill me I’ll forever lose my own identity.” 

Hearing him say the words she herself had said nearly a year ago was like experiencing a punch to her sore stomach. Knowing that he’d heard her fears made her feel unfocused and even more confused. She stared at his outstretched hand and longed to simply melt into his touch; she resisted and pushed her palms down to her knees then breathed, “So much of who I am is wrapped up in my feelings for you...” 

He curled his fingers inward. She felt her body shudder with fear when his eyes fell, “You’re feelings for me don’t own you baby, you are so much more than that,” he sighed before lifting his eyes and adding, “I wouldn’t be this crazy about you if that’s all you were.”

“Then why do I only feel whole when you’re with me?” she asked aloud. “Why do I feel complete when you walk into the damn room if I’m so much more?” she implored urgently out of fear.

He gulped vulnerably when he finally realized why her walls never fully fell, “You’re afraid of what happens when you give up the last pieces of your soul aren’t you?” 

She nodded confidently as a chunk of her armor finally fell swiftly to the ground. “The wall between us went up because I never expected you to feel the same Oliver; I never thought you’d see past the five year girl you used to know.”

Oliver’s small smile made her fingers tap along the upper edge of her knees, his curved lips made her spine tingle with an odd sort of elation when he gave her a few encouraging words. “Felicity I told you that night I didn’t kiss you out of pity, I’ve never pretended with you nor will I.”

She nodded hesitantly, “Still our bond goes beyond that of a conventional couple Oliver, we are better because of what we share not despite it.”

“I agree but how will us moving forward together destroy us if we have an unbreakable bond?”

She was about to answer his question when the space around them suddenly went dark. Her eyes flew to the clock on the microwave; her eyes glared when there was no neon numbers on the small rectangular screen. Her voice sounded annoyed when she grunted, “I think the storms taken a turn for the worst...” She glanced quickly over her shoulder and felt a wave of slight terror when the once peaceful scenery now appeared to be a horrible winter storm.

“How long do your outages usually last again?” he asked as he quickly stood.

“Based on the amount of snow I’m guessing this will be an all night event,” she surmised nervously as she pondered a night alone with Oliver in her now cold, dark loft.  She finally stood and moved to fully glance out over the white covered streets. She pouted a bit when she no longer was able to detect the impressions of the once passing cars. “I can’t see anything but white Oliver. The power is definitely down for the night,” she croaked nervously as she listened to him move around her small kitchen with no lights for aid.

She used the slight light from the snow to stare at him appreciatively. His strong back was bent; his narrow but strong hips held his chiseled from erect while his nimble fingers pushed through the various pots and pans of her lower row of cabinets. She heard him snarl when his finger got jammed in a hinge, “Ow…” he yelped as she snickered quietly.

“Don’t you have a phone?” she suggested as he brought his bruised skin to his wincing face.

“You’re just full of good ideas aren’t you?” he mused as he used his affected hand to reach for the phone in his back pocket. Felicity had to squint when he managed to turn the flashlight on. He used the light to illuminate her small home. She leaned against her window frame as he slowly began to brighten the darkened corners of the small room. He was passing her knees when he finally exclaimed, “Seriously honey don’t you have even one candle for emergencies?” 

Felicity chuckled oddly as her cheeks flushed, “Oh I have them....” she nervously giggled, “but I’m they’re not in the kitchen or the pantry…”

He decided to point the light at her ruby, red face before a knowing smile graced his chiseled features, “They’re framing your bathtub aren’t they?” 

She grimaced but replied shortly, “Yes.” 

Oliver kept the light on her wrecked face. She glared lowly when he slowly took the few strides needed to cross her small living space. “I really hate that you know me this well…” she sighed as her hands flew to her hips. Oliver nodded in agreement and kept advancing until he no longer needed the light from his phone to illuminate her face. Felicity stood with her small back pressed into the ice cold glass. He slowly began to invade her personal space as she timidly tilted her chin upward.

“How well does this building hold heat?” he queried gently.

Felicity gulped and attempted to remain painfully still. Oliver placed his phone on the chest of drawers by the window as Felicity tried to answer his last query. “Well the last time this happened I awoke to a chilled nose and a thermostat that read 55 so…”

“So perhaps we should consider trying something new to say warm?” he poked before her lips had the chance to fall quiet.  

She daringly ran her chilled fingers up his exposed forearms, “You’re not suggesting what I think you’re suggesting...” she lightly panted as her heart raced beneath her skin. 

He carefully trailed his fingers down her pink cheek and leaned closer. She could feel his lips brushing over her temple when he whispered, “I want to be with you Felicity, I want us to try.”

She softly closed her eyes and slowly ran her skin along his toned flesh as his lips continued to brush along her brow. “Oliver sex won’t fix things it will just complicate matters,” she muttered before the idea of warmth made her add, “But I’ll admit the idea of waking up next to your warm and very naked body does sound rather appealing…”

“Felicity did you agree to have sex with me?” he asked almost bemused.

She swatted his arm sharply but still used her nose to nuzzle at his jaw, “Well you suggested it might keep us warm and I hate being cold so…”

He kissed her brow tenderly, “Don’t do it for the wrong reasons honey because, I won’t let you slip through my fingers twice…” he whispered lowly as her body shook with desire.  

Her fingers were at his shoulders when he began moving his own down her throat. Her pulse raced beneath his touch, her skin dampened as the heat between their aching bodies grew. “We both know once morning comes I’ll force you to let me run,” she noted with confidence. 

His whiskers scratched along her brow when his agreed, “Maybe but either way we’re sharing a bed, and you did admit that I’d be naked...” 

She groaned realizing he was right, “It’s a one-time deal baby, and it’s a means of survival...” she mouthed lightly as his lips trailed down her cheeks. 

“I’m guessing our impulses would have won out anyways...” he suggested a bit too happily. 

She wanted to huff angrily but her body was too busy tingling to feel anything other than prolonged agony as her fingers began to slowly lace at the nape of his neck. “I really hate that I’m so drawn to you,” she admitted while he slowly trailed his lips to her own. She gasped when his teeth nipped at her bottom lip. She growled when he finally took her mouth greedily with more longing then she knew a single human soul could contain. She shuddered when his tongue pushed past her slighted parted lips. She moaned a bit against his touch before she sought to deepen the already soul scorching kiss. Sensing her fear Oliver started to seduce her slowly by keeping his palms at her cheeks; he then pushed his knee between her thighs making her scream as his touch edged along her aroused clit. She could taste the lingering tea on his tongue when her screams echoed through his shuddering lungs.

She felt his low moan of desire racing through her heated blood as his fingers slowly blazed a trail down her shaking shoulders. He muttered against her mouth, “Felicity we honestly don’t have to do this...” 

She shook with humor as they briefly parted. She gazed deeply into his endless blue depths and declared confidently with no sign of hesitation, “I want you inside me Oliver the power outage simply gave me the excuse to let it happen...”

Oliver’s eyes widened, “What about romance and taking our time?” he asked in complete shock. 

Felicity pressed her clit over his bent knee. Oliver gulped but, Felicity simply snickered, “I think I’ve denied myself for long enough don’t you?” 

His gaping mouth made her chuckle as she slowly began to rub her aroused bundle of nerves back and forth over his jean covered thigh. Oliver’s head tilted forward as she slowly began to gain speed. His lips first found the curve of her jaw before he began sucking his way down her pale throat. She felt her head bump along the framing of her window when she finally titled her neck. His lips heated her chilled body as she began to rapidly rub herself along his strong body. Her fingers blanched as they tightened around his corded neck once she’d found her stride, her body then shuddered when he roughly grabbed her hips. She let out an elated scream when his strong palms pushed her aching clit roughly over the edge of his knee. The friction made her throat burn and her body snap as she finally let herself feel free. Her cheek was anchored at his temple while he helped push her body into its first small but still enjoyable orgasm. She nearly wept with unbridled passion while his lips were anchored to her throbbing pulse point. 

She gulped as she began to level out from her newly experienced high, “Do it here...” 

Oliver moaned, “Unbuckle my pants...” 

Her fingers flew down to his hips as he pushed his fingers underneath the waist band of her sweats. The zipper felt clunky as her inexperienced fingers pulled at the small silver tab. He panted as the skin of her hips met the cold, frigid air, “Reach past the small opening of my boxers and rub your fingers along my tip...” 

She gulped, “Someone eager?” once she managed to undo the blasted button.

She felt her pants pooling around her ankles when he rasped, “Just touch me...” 

Felicity complied as Oliver’s fingers parted her nether lips. She bit at her lower lip when she felt the roughness of his calloused finger s moving along her needy inner walls. She attempted to scream his name but was thwarted by his crushing lips. Her screams were consumed by the fire in her lover’s belly as she slowly began rubbing her thumb over his wet tip. She moaned into his feverish kiss, “I’m so in love with you...” 

He moaned, “Good because I intend to thoroughly fuck you...” 

Felicity nipped at his upper lip as they briefly parted, “Fuck me?” she questioned seductively as his erection grew. 

He grinned along her teasing lips as his fingers pressed along the sweet spot within her core, “What would you prefer a prettier term?” 

She released his growing member and grabbed his wrist. She then kissed him softly as she pushed his fingers along her throbbing inner walls. She then murmured as her tongue traced along his lower lip, “ No I’d prefer it if you’d fuck me properly...” 

She kissed him roughly as his fingers slid down to the inner skin of her thighs. He then deepened another searing kiss with his talented tongue as he pushed her parted legs up along his hips, he murmured darkly, “I can’t wait to feel you,”  as she anchored her knees to his hips. 

She exhaled, “Then get this show on the road,” just as he filled her with one forceful thrust. 

Felicity’s hips bucked along his strong, pelvic bone as he drilled into her dark depths. She cried out, “HOLY FUCK!” as her tender back was repeatedly rammed into the damaged siding of her window’s frame. 

She twisted her fingers into the fabric of his shirt as he filled her emptiness with every word and feeling he’d never dared to even breathe. Each long, hard thrust made her body shatter, each time he filled her she nearly came as the wall at her back became her anchor to the world that still surrounded them. 

She whispered at his ear when a small line of sweat began to trickle down her sore back, “Are you this good in an actual bed?” 

He snickered through another abusing thrust, “Wanna find out?” 

She bit at his earlobe then screamed darkly, “FUCK YESSSSS!!!!!” right as her body finally shattered around him. He slowed as her screams filled the room, her eyes slid shut while her hips bucked along his hardened cock. She swore she’d drawn blood when her nails ran down the buttons of his shirt.

He didn’t whisper until her forehead fell along his own, “Take of your sweatshirt...” 

She huffed in exhaustion as she leaned back and reached for the shirts hem, “Can you seriously walk while still inside me?” 

She had the shirt over her head and to the ground when he mumbled darkly, “Yes....” 

Felicity gulped as he pulled her closer; her core throbbed as her abused muscles slid over his fully erect member, her eyes blazed as another orgasm was sparked from her lower belly. She whimpered, “Tell me you love me...” 

Oliver kissed her gently as he slowly padded through her darkened loft. “I love you, he murmured over her abused lips. “I’m helplessly and completely in love with you...” he whispered as her back hit the soft sheets of her aged mattress. He pulled out briefly to remove his clothes. She rubbed her fingers along her pert nipples as he gently kissed the tops of her bent knees.

“You’re beautiful,” he mouthed as he began to undo his few remaining shirt buttons. She smiled and mouthed back, “You’re a God…”

He chuckled while he shrugged off his shirt. Felicity in exchange used her feet to push his jeans down the lines of his legs. He kicked them off once she had them pooled around his knees.

She whimpered as he positioned his tip at her greedy entrance, “I don’t want tomorrow to come...” 

Oliver kissed her gently as he pushed in slowly, “Nor do I,” he cried as their bodies once again slowly became one. 

* * *

 

Felicity watched the snow fall as Oliver rubbed his nose along her naked sternum. Her chest fell when she breathed, “We totally just had sex without using condoms didn’t we?”

His forehead fell over her tender chest, “Well if I knock you up my parent’s might just throw a damn parade,” he teased even though she knew he was right.

 “Either way,” she shrugged, “I’d say our relationship has been forever altered.” 

He chuckled as his lips brushed over her tender left nipple, “Are you sorry it happened?” 

She brushed her fingers gently through his close cropped hair, “No, never but...” 

“But what? Felicity we’re in love and we did what most people do when they’re in love,” he interrupted swiftly. 

She lightly scratched her nails along his shoulder blade, “That wasn’t the reason for the but baby,” she teased softly.

His chin fell over her chest when he asked, “Willing to tell me?”

“What if we made a deal?” she proposed with her heart in her throat.

She saw his blue eyes fade into a stormy grey, “Felicity I won’t agree to sharing you so don’t even go there…”

Her lips curved instantly, “Yeah trust me after what you just did to me no man could ever compare,” she grunted in pure amusement.

Oliver’s gaze softened, “What do you wanna try the whole friend’s with benefits thing?”

“Well…” she mused. “It’s a way to test the waters…”

He kissed her breast once more then mumbled along the aroused skin, “Or we could just try being a couple…”

Felicity pinched at the skin along his back, “Work with me here! I’m afraid of us trying so if we ease into being a couple there’s a good chance I won’t run,” she argued as he affectionately nuzzled her skin.

“Fine but you’re not sleeping with that Cooper guy,” he demanded before he took her nipple between his teeth.

“Agreed, but if you so much as sneeze Laurel’s name I’ll end our relationship friendship and all,” she moaned as she slid her palms down to his hips.

“I love you…” he moaned as she hooked her calves around his hips.

She cried, “Not as much as I love you…” when he bit at her nipple’s pert tip. The storm outside lasted for two days. The wall they’d built a year ago began to crumble but something far stronger was growing in the rubbles place. For now Oliver had won this round. He’d made Felicity acknowledge they were meant to be…

* * *

 

1 Year Later…

“You’re not asking me to marry you?” she squeaked from the floor of their shared home.

Oliver fell to his knees and wept openly, “Yeah baby I am…”

She gazed at him with tear filled eyes, “You wouldn’t be if I wasn’t pregnant…”

Oliver shook his head ruefully then placed the ring box on the ground between them, “When will you believe you mean everything to me?”

She sputtered as her palm flew to her stomach, “When I believe that you only loved me…”


	3. Past Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The root of Felicity's issues are revealed as she's forced to move towards the next step with Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in regard to Arrow or it's characters.

 

 

**"Past Issues”**

 

 

Last time in Chapter two....

_**1 Year Later…** _

_**“You’re not asking me to marry you?” she squeaked from the floor of their shared home.** _

_**Oliver fell to his knees and wept openly, “Yeah baby I am…”** _

_**She gazed at him with tear filled eyes, “You wouldn’t be if I wasn’t pregnant…”** _

_**Oliver shook his head ruefully then placed the ring box on the ground between them, “When will you believe you mean everything to me?”** _

_**She sputtered as her palm flew to her stomach, “When I believe that you only loved me…”** _

* * *

 

Twelve hours before...

She heard his knuckles lightly rapping on the bathroom door while her forehead lay resting over the edge of the toilet seat. She grumbled in misery, “I’m okay baby it’s just my stomach again...” 

She heard his forehead inching down the door panes as he sighed gently, “Honey please just cancel the lunch. It’s just mom, and the social chair for the committee that they both want you to organize...” 

Felicity’s insides churned violently as the acid from her stomach coursed through her throat, she felt the burn before the stinging acid bit along her tongue moments before it came falling past her pale lips. Her body quivered as her stomach’s contents came up forcefully through her slight form. Oliver pleaded gingerly, “Felicity please just cancel the lunch, I’ll come home and we’ll go see Dr. Franklin.” 

“No...” she winced as the bile lingered in her raw throat. “You have the board member meeting today...” 

“So you’re more important than that!” he protested sharply. 

She let her body shudder in agony before her forehead once again fell over the seats rim. “I love you for that baby I do but I’ll just have mom take me okay?” she whined weakly as her stomach once again began to burn. 

She heard his gruff, “I’d rather be with you,” through the closed, thin door. She smiled slightly and called out, “I’d rather be with you too...” 

She could hear his smile when he quickly replied, “I’ll call you around 2 for an update baby...” 

“I’ll make sure the phones not on vibrate,” she replied before she heard his footsteps along their homes grey laminate floors. 

“I love you,” he called out quickly before he knew she’d no longer be in earshot. 

She screamed back, “I love you too,” before she let herself fall backwards into the comforting embrace of the cool, bathroom tiles. Her body’s tensed muscles eased the moment her spine felt the cold air from the ceiling vents brushing over her heated skin. She placed her hands over her stomach and growled towards the offending body part, “What the hell is wrong with you?” 

Her stomach burped and gurgled but did nothing more in reply. She scoffed emptily and crossed her legs while her back remained on the floor. She heard the drip from the bathroom sink, she heard her downstairs neighbor’s blaring stereo system through the floors, and she even felt the vibration from the loud beat as she wondered aloud, “Could this be more than the flu?” 

She gave herself a mental quiz...which ended up being her wondering aloud to the bathroom walls. “Okay so when did we have unprotected sex?” she first thought as the music below her back continued to beat pleasantly along her elongated spine. Her first thought of course was the shower but that was more than six weeks ago and she’d only been feeling unwell for the past three days. She clicked her tongue along her lower teeth and drew a calendar along her stomach. Her cycle tended to be a bit irregular so she normally never really thought about when it started she just always knew that it did. 

She laughed to herself when she recalled the last time she’d felt like this...

_**It was about three days after the snow storm. Oliver’s fingers were tangled in her hair as she felt her slender body heave violently. He placed his free hand over her shoulders and whispered through her gnarled cries, “You know this is really not sexy...”** _

_**She hiccupped in humor, “Really? You don’t find the sight of your best friend’s vomit to be an instant turn on?”** _

_**He held his breath, “Ummm no...” he joked in his very nasal tone while she crinkled her disgusted nose.** _

_**“Well you wanted a relationship,” she noted as he gently pulled her back and onto his lap. She curled into his chest with her face pointed outward while he put his chin over the crown of her head. His arms were anchored around her waist as he placed a timid kiss to her head.** _

_**“So you’re still just my best friend huh?”** _

_**“What title would you prefer Oliver?” she groaned in mild if not faked annoyance.** _

_**She felt his fingers pinching along her sides as his throaty laughs echoed through her tired body. “I was thinking girlfriend if that isn’t too much to ask...”** _

_**Felicity bit at her lower lip in contemplation. “Well I’m a girl and I’m your friend...” she thought aloud.** _

_**Oliver mused quietly, “And you’re the love of my life who I recently had sex with...”** _

_**She elbowed him gently which still made him wince, “Ow...” while she breathed, “Do we really have to put a label on it this soon? Can’t I have like a trail period where I get to explore the item before I decide if I want to buy it?”** _

_**“I feel like a set of steak knives Felicity,” he choked before kissing her hair gently.** _

_**She couldn’t help the giggle that raced through her body, “I would have gone with dildo but hey I guess knives work too...”** _

_**That remark led to his fingers trailing along her aching sides until her muscles cramped. He tickled her until they were both on their sides with her back still pressed firmly to his front. He laughed happily, “Seriously baby what do you want?”** _

_**She laced their fingers then brought them to her stomach until their hands overlapped, “I want to be us, just you and me is that okay?”** _

_**He nuzzled at the nape of her neck then breathed, “Yeah baby we can just be Oliver and Felicity...”** _

_**She smiled slightly as her stomach finally began to settle. “You know I’m surprised you haven’t asked me...” she realized as they each fell into their unique rhythm of enjoyable silence.** _

_**“Asked you what?” he mumbled against her skin.** _

_**She placed her forehead along his bicep and sighed, “Well we had unprotected sex and now I’m sick so...”** _

_**His nose nuzzled along the small hairs of her neck, “Please if you were pregnant I’d be the last to know,” he commented simply.** _

_**She nodded in agreement, “Yeah that would trigger some issues for me...”** _

_**“Exactly and anyways if you were pregnant I doubt you’d have morning sickness three days later...”** _

Felicity wanted to smack her forehead when she realized how blind she’d been once the memory ended. She glanced around the black and white bathroom with brushed chrome finishing’s and groaned, “How the hell did I let this happen...” then promptly leaned upward and left the comfort of her floor and searched for her phone.

* * *

 

The hospital gown felt stiff, uncomfortable, and frankly itched as it lingered over tingling skin. “Relax Felicity, I’m almost done...” Dr. Franklin barked lowly as Felicity’s toes curled. 

“Well I’m sorry but I hate this damn gown, and frankly having your head between my legs is not exactly ideal!”

Rita bit back a laugh but still her words were said in great humor, “Well you can ease those toes sweetie I’m all done.” 

Felicity released her held breathes as the metal contraption of evil slid down her cervix and back towards the room’s cold air. Her body shuddered a bit when the instrument finally was freed. Her fingers tapped out what she swore was Morse code as she quickly tilted up her head. Rita’s kind, wrinkled smile appeared moments later as she slowly stood. “Well?” Felicity gulped, “Is it a cyst like I thought?”  

Rita had her first glove off and was working on the second one when she smiled, “No it’s the option you’re not willing to vocalize.” 

Felicity’s head fell back over the rigid pillow in defeat, “How far along am I?” she nearly cried as her hopes for something far less devastating were dashed.

Rita reached for her trembling hands and slowly grazed her thumb over her white knuckles. “About six weeks I’d guess,” she soothed. 

Her stomach plunged to her toes while Rita continued to gently stroke her hands. “Sweetie pregnancy doesn’t have to mean death,” she offered knowing Felicity’s history better than most. 

She nodded while her eyes filled with unshed tears, “Yeah that’s what the father will say when I finally find the courage to tell him.” 

Rita patted her hands gently once more then said, “Well now that we’ve confirmed your symptoms are due to a baby and not a cyst would you be willing let us take a picture of your little tyke?” 

“Can’t you just say sonogram?” Felicity pleaded with emptiness filling her crumbling soul. 

“Do you want Moira to be here?” Rita breathed as she prepared to stand. 

Felicity’s eyes flicked to the small machine before they flickered to the bottle of gel, “He deserves to know first but...” she chewed on her lips as always and internally debated her options. While Oliver deserved to be first person told he wouldn’t forgive her if she didn’t ask for help when she clearly was emotionally distressed. She felt the bile rising to her throat while she remained in her uncomfortable supine position. Rita was already lifting up a section of the gown to expose her still taut abdomen. She hesitated for another second before muttering, “I need my mom.” 

Rita smiled sadly then replied, “I’ll have her brought back okay?” 

Felicity nodded relived while her heart clenched in despair. Rita pressed the intercom as Felicity’s mind wandered to the moment her world truly changed...

_**The room was cold that much she remembered clearly. The bright iridescent bulbs burned her small eyes as a pair of strong hands dragged her through the hospitals off white halls. She blinked rapidly as her small five year old legs struggled to keep pace with the older paramedic’s stride. She hiccupped in fear when the man came to a grinding stop. “Where’s my mommy and daddy? Where’s my baby brother?”** _

_**His blue eyes she later came to find were the reason that Oliver’s own always made her feel safe. His small lips curved sadly while he folded his tall, angular frame until he was crouched over his large feet. Felicity blinked away another stray tear as the man’s hand began to shake. She sniffed, “What’s wrong?”** _

_**Those blue eyes slid closed while he sighed, “Something happened when they tried to deliver your baby brother...”** _

_**His touch felt foreign, cold and frightening as she croaked, “I want my mommy...”** _

_**The kind stranger tired to say something more in comfort but all he could say before a loud scream filled the waiting room was, “Sometimes things go wrong...”** _

_**After that she saw the familiar sight of her father’s business partner and long time friend Robert Queen. Behind him was the source of the pained scream...behind him was his wife Moira. Felicity peered over the stranger’s shoulder as he too glanced towards the disturbance. He whispered, “Do you know them?”** _

_**Felicity cocked her small head and narrowed her blurry eyes. The paramedic glanced over her tired face and smirked when he asked, “You normally wear glasses don’t you sweetie?”** _

_**She bobbed her small head, “Yes but I was tired so mommy put them in her purse while I took a nap.”** _

_**He grinned, “You’ve awfully smart for your age aren’t you?”** _

_**Felicity shrugged her small shoulders and mumbled, “I guess so...” as the screaming woman approached. Her heels clacked along the cold, white floors like ice as it rained down over a metal roof. Her caramel voice melted through the tender moment as she scolded the kind stranger for his actions.** _

_**“I pray you’ve left the details to my husband and I Mr....”** _

_**She had to squint to read the faded print of his name tag. Felicity being closer gathered her wits the said, “Owen...his name is Owen Mrs. Queen.”** _

_**Moira’s icy eyes immediately melted as they drifted from Owen’s face and down to Felicity. Her skin glowed as she smiled sadly. “Angel would you mind giving me a moment with Owen?”** _

_**Felicity glanced between the two and shivered. “Mrs. Queen is my mommy okay?”** _

_**She bowed her head and whispered slowly, “Sweetie how much do you remember from the accident?”** _

_**Felicity remembered nothing other than how it felt when she was shaken awake by her mother’s awful sounding screams. She squared her small shoulders and grimaced when she admitted, “I just remember her screams...”** _

_**Moira’s eyes fell in shame. Owen patted her small shoulder then spoke sternly towards the older woman, “She was found between them. Her father we suspect died on impact when the metal frame crushed his bones. Her mother was found with a weak pulse and the girl curled in her lap.”** _

_**Moira’s cold voice snapped at the man’s insensitive approach, “You couldn’t wait until she was in another room!”** _

_**Felicity’s small voice felt even smaller when she whimpered, “Please where’s my mommy?”** _

_**Moira fell to the floor, scuffing her shoes and destroying the knees of her hose. She cupped Felicity’s small cheeks with warm comforting hands and brushed her thumbs over her tear stained cheeks. Owen kept his hand over her small shoulders while Moira’s lips quivered through the painful truth. “Tonight while you were coming to the hospital something bad happened.”** _

_**Felicity nodded with the innocence of a child. Moira continued with tears streaming down her own narrow face. Felicity could see small flecks of black as the lines of her own tears marred her otherwise perfect face. “Your car was hit by another driver...” she nearly sobbed as Felicity caught Robert’s grief stricken face lingering just behind her. His usually bright eyes looked pale and forlorn as he slowly fell to his own knees upon the hospital floor. He placed a cold hand on Moira’s shoulder and whispered to her ear, “They didn’t make it. The strain of pregnancy was too much...they’re gone...”** _

_**Moira’s controlled sobs changed into a blood curling wail as she drew Felicity tightly into her trembling arms. She moved willing into the awkward embrace, her cheek fell upon her coat’s collar as the older woman murmured, “It’s going to be okay Felicity, It’s going to be okay...”** _

“Hey Angel you still with me?” she heard her adoptive mother ask as she placed a tender kiss to her furrowed brow. 

Moira slid her fingers through Felicity’s as her other traced along her damp cheek. She smiled and brushed her thumb over a falling tear. “You know the baby didn’t kill her sweetie the car accident did...” she soothed as Felicity nodded in fear. 

“She had a complication that’s why the baby was six weeks early...” Felicity wept as Moira squeezed her shaking hand. 

Rita I just need a quick minute is that alright?” she asked without ever averting a gaze from Felicity’s terrified eyes. 

“Of course Mrs. Queen I’ll just make sure the equipment is calibrated,” she answered before the door behind them clicked closed. 

Moira’s chest faltered as she swept a piece of hair behind her ear. Felicity leaned into her touch as she spoke, “You’re afraid that he’ll die the same way your father did aren’t you?”

Felicity felt shame as she croaked out a pathetic, “My father died protecting his children and, Oliver wouldn’t hesitate to do the same...” Her chest began to ache as her selfish fears poured forth. “It was bad enough when I fell for him...” 

Moira smiled, “I’m going to selfishly disagree since that for me was a very blessed day,” she murmured as her eyes softly fell. 

Felicity’s eyes rolled, “You don’t understand, I can’t lose him Moira, I can’t face the idea of living from day to day in a world where he doesn’t exist.” 

“I’m practically your mother so let’s drop the Moira and secondly Angel loving him is what saved you hell it’s what saved him...” Felicity saw the wheels turning in her mind so she saved her the effort and admitted with shame...

“I never intended to give him a child because I knew in the end it would destroy us both.” 

Moira’s lips pursed in empathy not disgust. “That’s why you tried to keep your relationship platonic I assume?” 

Felicity digested the question then mumbled, “Yes...” 

“And when he pushed you into admitting your feelings I’m betting you put up another internal wall?

Again Felicity mumbled, “Yeah and look where my “emotions” left me.” 

Moira leaned forward until her lips were at Felicity’s ear. She whispered in a snippy tone, “That’s what condoms and birth control are for sweetie.” 

Felicity gulped as Moira placed her forehead over hers. “You’re saying that subconsciously I wanted a child aren’t you?” 

She felt the older woman’s smile grow as her nose crinkled, “You’re too smart to leave anything up to fate angel, you always were.” 

Felicity groaned, “Apparently this time I did...” 

Moira laughed, “No you didn’t Felicity. You’re ready for more but you’re just unable or unwilling to admit it.” 

“That’s ridiculous,” she scowled. 

Moira pushed further, “Then say it, tell me why didn’t want to love him from day one?” 

Felicity felt the confidence in her voice, she felt the determination in her eyes and she felt the empathy in her touch. Moira was pushing her to break down another wall the only problem was Felicity didn’t want to crumble for anyone but Oliver. 

“I didn’t want to love him because...” Felicity started just to end the verbal brawl as Moira held her hand tightly. Felicity felt her chest stammering as her heart fluttered. The moment felt wrong, the timing was off and the forehead that should be there wasn’t. Her words felt cold and dis-joined as they left her numb tongue but still she managed a weak but somewhat honest declaration through her muted tone, “I didn’t want another grave taking up residence in my shattered heart.” 

Moira pushed lightly, “And why don’t you want a baby?” 

Felicity’s entire body shuddered. This wasn’t meant for her it was meant for Oliver. Her truth, her words, her fears all of those moments were meant to be shared with him as he held her in his loving arms. She stammered and groaned as her mind searched for the words to end the conflict. “I don’t want him dying because of them...” she offered weakly but Moira knew better. 

She pushed back with harsh words, “Don’t be the selfish brat that broke my son’s heart, be the person he deserves instead of the weakling who nearly let him marry the wrong woman...” 

Felicity croaked, “They were never close to that and you know it...” 

“Still you almost let him go and I want to know why? Why are you really afraid of having a baby with the man who’d give his life just to see you smile?” she probed as their foreheads remained connected. 

Felicity stammered, “Please don’t make me say this...” 

Moira pushed back, “I won’t but only if you promise to tell him...” 

Felicity’s eyes slammed shut, “He’ll never understand...” she whimpered almost uncontrollably. 

Moira insisted once more before she pulled away, “He knows about that day sweetie he’ll understand why you’re afraid...” 

Her chest heaved as she spoke, “Moira…mom it’s not the simple.” 

She nodded in empathy, “I know but something inside of you is still broken from that day...” 

Felicity nodded grimly, “He won’t understand why I didn’t tell him, he won’t understand why I lied...” she breathed as something inside her heart finally began to heal. “He doesn’t know that she almost died while giving birth to me, he just thinks it’s about my brother he doesn’t know how far it really goes...” she admitted in one large painful breath. 

“He’ll ask you to marry him Felicity...he’ll push for more if you don’t give him the truth willingly,” she murmured just as Rita knocked on the door. 

Felicity looked up at her adoptive mother and cried softly, “The problem with that is I want to marry him...” 

Moira’s tears fell, “You can’t marry him if he doesn’t know sweetie, he has to understand he could lose you...” 

She gulped heavily, “I’m going to end up pushing him away.” 

Moira croaked, “He’ll just push harder...” 

Felicity simply sighed, “Yeah until I break his heart...” 

* * *

 

She leaned her aching forehead over the numbers upon their front door. She savored the cold of the bronze metal and yearned for the courage to face what she know was waiting beyond the threshold. Her eyes burned then her vision blurred as she swallowed a strangled cry. The sonogram picture was crinkled between her fingers, their child’s image was in her hands and all she could do was struggle with the urge to scream. 

The ground below her vibrated, the beat seemed to permeate through the soles of her shoes as she swallowed a gnarled plea, “Please don’t let me screw this up...” she begged lowly. “Please let me heal...” she prayed as her free hand flew to her stomach, “Please let this child be born...” she wept before she stowed the picture in her coat pocket and solemnly reached for the door. 

The darkness engulfed her willing as she stepped slowly inside the stillness of the empty room. She flicked the switch by the door and dropped the keys into the ceramic bowl on the kitchen counter. She stood there frozen. Her bones felt like concrete had filled the hallow spaces. She lumbered forward, she felt the cool, marbled, grey colored granite beneath her trembling fingers. She squinted her eyes when she saw a broad set of shoulders lightly heave. She leaned her hip along the counter top’s beveled edge and roughly cleared her clogged throat, “Most people turn the lights on when it gets dark outside...” She kept her tone light and even as her mask fell swiftly into place. 

She saw the slope of his shoulder heave as his head fell. She managed to drag herself to a chair along the island; she even managed to pull the dark colored wood outward but stopped when he mumbled almost deadly, “Mom called me after your appointment...” 

Her nimble fingers curled over the chairs back, “How much do you know...” she spat angrily as she started slumping to the cold floor. 

“Let’s not blame her shall we...” he growled with his back still slumped against the back of their off grey colored sectional. 

Felicity rolled her eyes swiftly while allowing her body to fall back against the white paneling of the islands cabinets. “Why not? It’s her fault we even met to begin with so it makes complete sense to me...” 

She heard him roll his broad shoulders and even cringed when his elbows landed on his stiff knees. “Don’t Felicity, just don’t I’m not going to rip apart our history just so you can avoid telling me the truth,” he replied coldly with no regard to her fragile state of mind. 

It was then she knew that Moira had said nothing. She huffed in agreement, “Fine so what do you want?” 

“Felicity,” he sighed painfully. 

She proceeded to crack her neck, he in turn groaned as she smiled with glee, “What baby still hate that habit?” 

He inched off the couch and maneuvered around the table by the sectional. The light from the city below lit his face in an array of conflicting shadows as he moved along the living room rug. Felicity watched him gingerly walk the floor as she sought to control her rattled nerves by rubbing her fingers along her coat covered upper arms. 

He glanced toward her and breathed with strain lacing his throat, “Just tell me is it what you thought?” 

She bowed her head and bit her lip, “That depends on how you look at it I suppose,” she cowered in shame. 

He dragged his palm down his chiseled face and sighed, “Cut the crap Felicity and just tell me what to expect.” 

She shrugged lamely, “I don’t know what would you expect from someone whose six weeks pregnant?” 

She heard him place his dress shoes on the grey floors. He shuffled forward nervously while mumbling, “We’re having a baby?” 

She glanced up sarcastically, “Yeah and guess what I’m not elated.” 

He froze about three feet from her seated form. She noticed his left hand was dancing about nervously in the left pocket of his trousers. She cocked an eyebrow and swallowed a painful laugh before muttering, “You’ve got to be kidding me...” 

He shrugged, “It’s the logical next step?” 

“How? You thought I had the stomach flu! How is marriage the next logical step!” she shouted in confusion. 

His tone weakened, “Well mom said the news was life altering and I figured it might lessen the blow if you knew that no matter what I was with you...” 

Her body began to crumple. The mask she’d managed to hold was fading as the weight of her unsaid confession weighed heavily on her soul. The tears she’d managed to swallow now were creeping along the ducts of her eyes. Her fingertips felt bruised as she rubbed them raw along the fabric of her coat. He stood proudly with the ghost of a smile as she finally felt her emotions give way. 

“You’re not asking me to marry you?” she squeaked from the floor of their shared home.

Oliver in an uncharacteristic move fell to his knees and wept openly, “Yeah baby I am…”

She gazed at him with tear filled eyes; “You wouldn’t be if I wasn’t pregnant…” she tried with a stammering heart. 

Oliver shook his head ruefully then placed the ring box on the ground between them, “When will you believe you mean everything to me?” he nearly cried with anger fueling his strangled words. 

She sputtered as her palm flew to her stomach, “When I believe that you only loved me…”

He glanced at her with confusion literally dripping from his mournful eyes. “That I only loved you?” he garbled as she watched in interest. 

Her plan was simple. It was calculated but simple; she was simply going to convince him that she feared he’d love their child more than he did her. He’d be disgusted and if she was lucky he’d leave her in a fit of rage. If this worked and the pregnancy ended up killing her then at least he’d be spared the pain of mourning his wife...Her plan was simple but, something inside her felt strange. She chewed at her lip and hid the small ghost of a frown over her full lips; her stomach ached as again something inside her twisted not with guilt but oddly with anger…She shrugged off the strange feeling and remembered her silent vow…

She told Moira in Dr. Franklin’s office that she was going to break his heart and dammit she intended to but, what she’d forgotten to foresee was what she’d always failed to see...

Oliver wasn’t going to let her self-destruct...even if it meant he did in the process. 

He folded his hands over his lap and scrunched his adorable forehead. Felicity despite her thoughts smiled at his adorable grin. He however glowered when her words finally clicked into horrifying place. “You know you had me,” he declared. 

She splayed her hand over her stomach and gulped, “Had you?” she purred innocently. 

He smirked but it wasn’t the one that indicated she was about to made a very happy woman, no this smirk was to indicate she’d been caught. “Yes Felicity,” he seethed, “Had me, you almost had me until I saw where your hand was positioned...” 

Her ashamed eyes fell as she muttered quietly, “I was trying to spare you...” 

He huffed angrily, “When will you get it through your thick head I’m not leaving you, I’m not quitting us, I’m not abandoning you, and I’m fucking in love with you!” 

She shouted back with downcast eyes, “YEAH WELL I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND THAT’S WHY I WANTED TO SPARE YOU!” 

He growled darkly, “And what making me believe that you were selfish enough to hate me for loving our child was your plan? I mean honestly Felicity what did you think I’d do? Were you going to tell that because your father died saving you, you were afraid of losing me the same way? Did you really want me to just walk away and leave you?” 

She glared then seethed bitterly, “What gave it away?” 

Her comment caught him off guard, she smirked in happiness as he shook his rattled head, “Again only loved me was a bit telling given you’re pregnant.” 

“Shit,” she moaned bitterly. “I knew that was the wrong word,” she groaned as she eyed the small box before her. “Mom’s wedding set I assume?” she asked defeated. 

He laughed lowly, “Yes and stop avoiding the fight. You were going to what tell me that because your father died saving you, you were afraid to lose me the same way right?”

She mumbled lowly, “It was a thought yes…”

He nearly cracked his jaw when he growled, “You had a backup plan I know you…” Her eyes slipped shut while he groaned through her possible list…”Let me guess you were going to end this pregnancy because of your mother’s second pregnancy? Or even better...” he continued on as she sat there and quietly stewed. “You weren’t going to tell me at all; you were going to simply leave before you started to show?” 

“Well I put more thought into the plan than that but, yes I was going to put up another...” 

“Wall...” he interrupted glumly. 

She glared then gulped, “Yes, I was going to put up another wall and convince you that I couldn’t be with someone who loved our child more than me.” 

He mumbled in disgust, “You’re sick you know that?” 

She bowed her head and lightly patted her stomach, “No I’m scared and guess what fear makes me do foolish things,” she said weakly to aid her defense. 

“Trying to convince me that you’d despise me for loving our child is pretty low even for you...” he groaned as he began to move backward along his knees. 

She nodded in horrified agreement, “I’m not too happy about my choice either but the truth is worse.” 

His retreating form froze, “How is that even possible?” he asked in what could only be described as terror. 

She looked up with freshly fallen tears and mumbled, “Because based on my medical history both the baby and I could die.” 

Oliver’s eyes fell so she kept going while her hand remained firmly over her stomach. “Do you remember when I was around fourteen?” 

He nodded then mumbled gravely, “You were sick for about a month. Mom wouldn’t let me or even Thea see you, she alone tended to you. Well she and Dr. Franklin...” 

She saw him breathe heavily; his body seemed to retract inwards as he brought his palms to his elbows. Felicity swallowed a tender cry of remorse before continuing slowly with empathy brimming in her voice. “Apparently I had an ovarian cyst; which terrified me because when my mother was pregnant with me she had one that ruptured...” She felt the tears falling freely down not only her face but she somehow could feel his as well. 

He breathed, “That’s why you were going to the hospital that night...” 

She nodded, “She’d been sick for a few days. She was being monitored because of what happened with me. They delivered me via C-section after the cyst ruptured. She barely survived the procedure and I was trapped in the ICU for almost a month because I was about 5 weeks early.” 

“That’s why you had glasses at such a young age right?” he mumbled as he gradually moved closer. She could feel his soul breaking before her as he pushed the ring box across the floor and towards her feet. 

She again nodded and reached for the token. “Yeah...” she murmured as she folded her fingers around the box’s hard edges. 

“Your brother was the same?” he asked a bit awkwardly. 

She smiled sadly, “He would have been had it not been for the accident...” She felt his knees bumping along her feet. She gazed at his handsome face and finally lifted her hand from her stomach. She saw her fingers tremble as she inched her way towards his titled jaw. She gasped when he reached forward grabbing her hand and twisted her wrist until his lips were at the center of her palm. 

He croaked through the tears in his throat, “You didn’t want me to lose both you and our child...that’s why you did all of this...” he suddenly realized.  

He kissed her skin tenderly once more before he moved his hand to her fallen chin. She in turn cupped his cheek as they each leaned inward. The moment their foreheads touched she immediately found home. “I’m so sorry but I’m just so fucking scared to be without you...” she sobbed almost instantly. 

He chuckled lowly, “Well I’d say the feelings mutual but based on your actions you sorta knew that.”

She smiled before her lips fell back into small frown, “I swore I’d never put you through this…I swore but now that I’ve seen him or her I can’t lie and say I’m not overjoyed…”

He croaked, “I don’t have the words to describe what I’m feeling but dammit honey this has got to stop…”

She mumbled contritely, “I know baby, believe I know…”

He murmured against her lips, “Why didn’t you tell me about your mother? Why didn’t tell me that’s what you were afraid of?” 

She mumbled incoherently, “I was so young when it happened and I didn’t realize that I could have the same condition, and then when I fell for you it got really complicated. So I put up about a thousand walls figuring you’d never be dumb enough to tear them all down but, then you did and like an idiot I started wanting you to.” 

Their lips brushed endlessly as she spoke, his reply to her endless words made her stomach flutter with hope. “Then why not just bring them down yourself? Why did it take me years of groveling for you to realize you’re it for me?”

She let him kiss her soundly with more tenderness then she deserved before her words fell freely from her bruised lips, “By the age of five I’d learned two very painful lessons, one love kills and two living without love is damn near impossible.”

He whispered against the corner of her mouth, “Then why the hell did you fight me?”

She inhaled deeply then pressed her fingers gently over his skin. His head tilted into her shaky touch as she exhaled over his tingling skin, “Because I can’t live in a world where you don’t love me and, letting you in meant you’d have to love all of me…”

He pulled away just enough so she could see his heart in those perfect eyes. “Then tell me you’ll marry me,” he murmured. “Tell me you’ll spend the rest of your life with me as we both work on eradicating those damn walls of yours.”  

She starred into those endless blue eyes and marveled at his capacity for forgiveness. She mumbled along his bottom lip as their fingers traced along the other’s skin feverishly, “How can you still want to marry me?” she questioned briefly. 

He pressed a very timid kiss to her slightly parted lips. She felt his tongue skimming along her bottom lip as he muttered, “I’d be lost without you so I understand the twisted logic...” 

She kissed him tenderly, “Can you ever forgive me?” she asked once they parted. 

His nose rubbed along her own as they remained connected by their foreheads. “As I already said this has to stop honey. You can’t keep running from me Felicity. I can’t keep losing us because you’re afraid I’ll leave, I can’t keep fighting for us alone with one hand tied behind my back,” he pleaded endlessly as the box once more fell at her feet. 

She glanced down at the unopened square then glanced back to his eyes. She licked her lips as he brushed his own over them. She smiled into the deepening kiss as he pulled her closer. She parted her legs and pulled herself over his lap. Her knees rested along the floors with his hips burning the skin that touched them. She murmured as his fingers became twisted in her hair, “Then yes…”

Oliver’s heart stopped and for the first time she felt the skipped beat. She timidly placed her palm over his thudding chest and whispered lowly, “I felt that...” 

He bypassed the statement for a moment and uttered, “You said yes?”

She giggled, “Yeah I said yes, why wouldn’t I?”

He nearly choked in shock, “Would you like to go through out tortured history?”

“No,” she mumbled as his heart jumped again. Her eyes flared when she muttered, “It happened again…”

“What did?” he asked quickly.

“Your heart, it literally just skipped another beat and somehow I felt it,” she croaked emotionally with a feeling of solace racing through her once nervous veins.

His eyes blazed, “How?” he murmured before their lips touched. 

She shrugged then realized as their lips brushed, “It’s because I’m finally ready to stop running…” Moments later her timid tongue was softly touching his. 

His moaned, “So we’re going to be a family?” raced through down the smooth muscles of her throat before they edged their way firmly into her steadily beating heart.

She smiled once more as her whisper was engulfed by the first of many endless kisses, “Yeah because we already are...” 


	4. Reconnecting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Oliver reconnect physically after the birth of their daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in regard to Arrow or it's characters. 
> 
> Also: smutty times ahead so you've been warned....

 

 

**Chapter 4**

 

 

**Reconnecting**

 

 

She awoke to the strange sound of perfect silence; her shoulders grew tense as she began to lean upward slowly. The man beside her groaned tiredly, “Please don’t tell me you heard her cry?” 

Felicity patted the back of his hand affectionately, “No baby she’s asleep,” she too groaned when her eyes swept toward the clock placed innocently on her bedside table. The bright, fire engine red light displayed a steady 3:08 with the am lit just beside it. She pushed her knees towards her chest as she continued her steady, uphill climb. 

She felt Oliver rumble beside her as he shifted from his back to his right side, “Please tell me you’re not going to disrupt her?” 

Felicity shook her head before her chin dipped to her chest. She grimaced a bit when her eyes flickered over her worn night clothes. Before their daughter was born Felicity slept in nightgowns made of flimsy silk that more often than not left her skin mere moments after her head landed on the pillow. When she was pregnant her taste’s changed. She wanted something that would allow her to grow as the baby did so she opted for fabrics made of cotton...or as Oliver often pointed out shirts that smelled like him. She’d chosen about four of his old college tee-shirts to wear as her stomach grew. Her defense for the change had been geared toward the baby but in reality as she grew something in their relationship changed. He wasn’t distant but, no longer did she fall asleep smelling of lavender and their mixed sweat; now all she could smell was sweat, baby powder and oddly enough dried milk. 

Her nose wrinkled when she brushed her fingers over a crusted spot of spit up courtesy of a very blonde, blue eyed little girl. Oliver grumbled again when his previous words went unanswered, “Seriously honey please tell you’re going to let her be?” 

Felicity swept her fingers over her bent knees, “Relax sweetheart I have no desire to wake the finally sleeping demon,” she laughed quietly as she shifted her gaze and smiled a bit brighter. 

Oliver’s nose was nestled deeply between the rumbled edges of his pillow case, his soft kissable lips were parted and, his usually maintained scruff was now three days too long. She was about to rub her fingers over the soft overgrowth near the line of his defined jaw when he mumbled into his pillow, “Good because I haven’t slept in three months...” 

Felicity sighed in agreement, “Yeah but at least your breasts aren’t sore.” 

She saw his chest rumble with amusement, “Too bad I’m not the reason for the discomfort.” 

“Yeah,” she mumbled a bit too lowly, “Too bad indeed.” 

She waited for his next verbal volley but all she received was a sharp snore brushing over her bare upper hip. Felicity swallowed another low sigh and, let her eyes wonder over her sorta husband’s beautiful body. She rested her forearms over her knees and rubbed her elbows with brisk fingers. His strong arms were placed along the two sides of his half exposed face. His fingers were lying limply over the edge of the mattress in the space between it and the headboard. She followed the line of his angled bicep until she could mentally trace along the line of his covered scapula. She bit at her lip as usual while her greedy eyes slid shut. She moved her fingers over her upper arms rapidly and pretended for just a moment that her skin was the taut skin of his upper back. 

Her head fell back briefly when her imagination allowed her to envision the curve of his lower back. Her stomach clenched when she was near the rounded edge of his delectable ass... he coughed inwardly, “Honey I’m tired...” causing her eyes to snap open. 

Her hands were now frozen along her chilled skin, her body was still coiled tightly to her chest and, he was still sleeping soundly beside her. Felicity groaned in frustration, “Great I can’t even get laid in my imagination now...” before she uncurled her legs and, began gingerly moving her weary muscles towards the cool floors. 

Oliver rustled a bit but remained safely in his dreams as she carefully placed her toes along the area rug near her side of the bed. She shivered and glanced once more at the clock. The still red display seemed to taunt her gleefully as the steady numbers mocked her inability to find solace in her dreams. She groaned, “3:40,” lowly before forcing herself to stand along the edge of the bed. She pulled her arms upward until her fingers were joined over her head. She stretched out her entire body before her now wider hips swayed her gently toward the darkened family room. 

She looked along the floor as she stepped gingerly. Their once immaculate home was now a staging space for organized chaos. The lights along the kitchen island were dimly lit allowing her to see tonight’s dinner dishes as they laid untouched in the kitchen sink. She glared at the three empty bottles and the un-sterilized nipples near the kitchen stove. She held back a strangled laugh when she spotted the blue bunny sitting innocently in the center of their daughter’s white highchair. The edge of her big toe hit along her “play” crib as she tiptoed over the debris field of forgotten toys. She sighed happily when her toes rubbed along the one clean surface of her entire household. The rug felt new, soft, and vibrant as she moved slowly past the coffee table and towards the over-sized chair near the floor to ceiling windows. 

Once her calves landed over the crème colored fabric she immediately felt at peace. The sounds of her home moved on around her as she sat in comfortable silence. The refrigerator hummed behind her as the ice maker dumped out another row of perfectly squared cubes. The air conditioner clicked on so the small hairs along the nape of her exposed neck stood along her chilled skin. The soft summer breeze whipped through the cities tall buildings as the lightning flashed brightly in the cloud covered skies. Moments later the glass seemed to rattle as the thunder echoed darkly in the cold distance. The city below made her skin glow as the shadows of the light danced along her pale complexion. 

She whispered to the darkening skies, “And the city slept as the storm waged war between the angels of the living and the angels of hell...” 

The thunder rolled through her body like an eager friend moving for a tender embrace. She let the sound vibrate through her skin while the sound of the pattering rain filled her empty soul with hope for a new tomorrow. “Is that from the poem you wrote in college?” 

She smiled slowly as she coiled her body inwards along the lines of the overstuffed chair. “Hmmm, it’s the fourth line,” she replied quietly as the building storm growled angrily from just beyond the city’s skyline. 

He padded forward through the debris field. She watched his strong legs moving gracefully along the cluttered floors. His boxers were wrinkled, his grey tee-shirt was rumbled and his hair was messed from the movements of his roaming fingers. He yawned once his feet were along the center area rug, “Honey what’s up?” 

Felicity shrugged innocently, “I’m restless, I’m tired, and well I’m another thing but that’s not a 4am discussion.” 

He stopped before her with his arms crossed and his legs parted. She had to tilt her neck to see past the shadows around his tired eyes. His gaze flickered with longing as he fell slowly to his sturdy knees. He ordered coarsely, “Place your feet on the ground and spread your legs...” 

Felicity’s back straightened almost instantly. She pulled her legs out from beneath her and slowly began to edge her legs down the front of the chair. She asked coyly, “I’m never said I was horny...” 

He smirked knowingly as he placed his broad palms along her shaking knees. He brushed his thumbs over the soft, sensitive skin of her inner thighs and, began to massage along the bones of her cramped legs. Her head fell back as she moaned, “it’s been so long since you’ve touched me...” 

She felt the ridges of his pectoral muscles through the fabric of his thin shirt as he slowly inched his way between her waiting legs. “I was waiting until you were ready...” he murmured darkly with need. 

She rasped as he skimmed his fingers down the line of her inner thighs, “You were?” 

He chuckled darkly, “Honey when’s the last time you let me see you?” 

She couldn’t help herself when she cocked her curious head. Oliver smiled almost shyly as his fingers splayed out along the hemline of her standard, cotton panties. Suddenly Felicity wished she’d worn something a bit more attractive as she muttered vaguely, “You see me all the time?” 

She brushed her fingers through his matted hair as her knees locked along his ribcage. Her ankles hooked near the small of his angled back while he brushed his thumbs roughly over her pelvic bone. He grumbled lowly when she trailed her fingers down to the nape of his neck, “I used to know every curve of your body but, just now when I rubbed my fingers over your thighs I became aware of the subtle difference in your shape...” 

She gaped at his honesty and, trailed her fingers down to rest timidly over his scruffed cheeks. “Describe it...” she nearly begged. 

Oliver grinned sweetly, “With words only?” he asked as he trailed his fingers over the waistband of her panties. 

Felicity tugged along her bottom lip with her upper teeth and moaned darkly, “If I said no what would that mean?” 

His eyes shifted within the darkness of the open room. The thunder rolled loudly as her heart stammered erratically in her needy chest. She gulped when his fingers left her teeming skin, he smiled a bit too eagerly then said, “Relax Felicity...We’ll take this as we always do...” 

Her eyes danced in muted appreciation, “It’s not that I don’t want you,” she admitted more to herself than anyone else. “Hell I want to have sex but something keeps holding me back,” she muttered again more to herself than to the man before her. 

“Yeah I figured when you whispered that you couldn’t even get laid in your imagination...” he blustered as he placed his fingers over her own. 

She chuckled lightly, “I thought you were asleep...” 

He winked then muttered, “I’ve learned you reveal more when you think you’re all alone...” 

Felicity mumbled, “This is about more than just sex isn’t it?” 

He brought his fingers to her wrists and slowly edged her thumbs over his lips. He softly kissed the pads then breathed against her skin, “Something between us isn’t the same...” 

Her forehead nearly fell over their joined hands when she exhaled, “So it’s not just me?” 

He guided her hands to the nape of his neck and waited as she laced her fingers. He then massaged his way over her forearms until he reached her elbows. Felicity slowly unhooked her ankles and gently tugged her hips forward so her chest was nearly flush with his. He remained between her parted legs with her knees placed along his hips. She shuddered a bit when he pushed his hands over her upper arms and towards her shoulders. Then he used his hands to guide her body even closer. She leaned into his touch as she pulled his lips to hers. He breathed ruggedly, “I need to be with you...” 

Felicity moaned in complete agreement, “I need to feel you inside me,” she added as their lips lightly brushed. 

He smiled into the first timid kiss, “But before we can run we have too...” he waited with bated with breath as Felicity chuckled out the one word answer. 

“Walk, but one question my love?” she croaked with a bit of worry edged in her tone. 

“What’s that?” he whispered before kissing her chastely. 

Her body vibrated with envy as the rain pounded along the window panes. Her lips felt shaky as he rubbed his talented fingers along the nape of her neck. “If we discuss why we aren’t having sex then we’ll have to discuss the other issue...” she mentioned a bit hesitantly. 

Oliver bit at her bottom lip seductively then suggested a way to remedy the situation, “I have a way to make the conversation less cumbersome...” 

“Does it involve touching?” she giggled as his hands began moving eagerly down the line of her covered spine. 

“Maybe,” he grinned vibrantly as she moved her fingers through his hair. 

“Making me come while we talk about our marital status is a rather interesting idea I agree,” she moaned when he spread his fingers along her hips once he managed to dip them beneath the hemline of her “practical” underwear. 

Felicity choked in surprise when she felt his index finger falling over her ready clit. “Wow someone’s eager,” she exclaimed in hushed tones just as the lightening lit up his aroused face. 

His blue eyes were murky, his body was coiled and his pulse was erratic as he used three fingers to explore her darkened inner walls, while the thumb on his opposite hand was busy pushing roughly along her small bundle of needy nerves. He made her back arch when he rubbed his chest over her pebbled nipples. Her head fell back as a low scream raced through her entire body before exiting from her parted lips, “Shit baby...that’s...damn I’ve missed you...” 

He pressed his lips to her collarbone and licked at her pulse point while he mumbled, “Why aren’t we married yet?” 

Felicity panted as her knees buckled along his waist, “Well I was busy carrying your child so I guess I was distracted.”  

She cried, “Shit baby, if you do that again I’ll scream loud enough to wake our daughter...” 

Oliver sucked along the tender skin of her jawbone, while he kept moving his fingers in and out of her slick, clenching, inner walls. His thumb was over her clit when he finally breathed, “What’s stopping us now?” 

Felicity felt the familiar line of sweat beginning to roll slowly down her arched spine. Her fingers were clenched in his hair while his lips remained anchored to any visible aspect of skin. She breathed into the darkened room as he once again plundered her darkened depths, “I wanna fuck you and I’m afraid you’ll no longer want too...” 

She expected his fingers to still at her emotionally driven confession but as usual his response left her completely winded. He growled darkly as he trailed his lips over her throat, “I’d fuck you right now if our daughter wasn’t a wall away...”

Her snicker morphed into a throaty scream, “What do you call this?” 

His teeth skimmed lightly over her puckered skin, “A gentle reminder of what I can make you feel...” 

He drilled a bit deeper as she let herself grind down over his moving fingers. Her fingers fell to his shoulders, her back arched even further so her thoroughly aroused nipples were nearly along his bobbing throat. He kissed his way down her shirt covered sternum as she bucked roughly over his hand. She felt him grin along her upper ribcage when she could barely mumble, “You’d fuck me here and now if you wanted to so what gives?” 

His teeth pulled easily along her shirt, the fabric rubbing over her erect nipples made her groan as her anchored fingers began to bruise. Oliver’s touch remained steady as she ached for the coming release. He pushed roughly over her clit once more before uttering, “I want to do so much more than fuck you Felicity...” He gulped then added harshly, “I want to reconnect our souls...” 

As his lips slipped over the last s her body began to rapidly crumble. She panted as the thunder rolled, “Yeah that we need to be alone for...” 

He nipped at her nipple through the shirts fabric; she couldn’t control the small yelp as her hips began to quiver. His pace remained punishing as he echoed her previous sentiment, “I need to be with you, but it’s deeper than that, we’re deeper than that...” 

Her fingers dug along the toned flesh of his shoulders as her body erupted like a dormant volcano. She could feel the lava spilling through her needy veins like the rain over a dry field. Her heart glowed as her body warmed. She felt his body shuddered against her as he placed his forehead over her stammering heart. She coiled her fingers through the wrinkles of his tee-shirt as he removed his fingers from her abused core. He gulped, “I need to love you Felicity but, I need your love in return...” 

She ruffled his hair softly as her lungs begged for much needed air, “I’ll have mom take her tonight,” she rasped as the world around her began to grow brighter. 

He gulped, “Honey?” 

She managed a gnarled, “Yeah baby?” as her body continued to shudder from its previous high. 

“I miss you,” he whispered as his lips fell over her left breast. 

She smiled quietly as she murmured, “I miss you too...” 

* * *

 

A rather delighted knock at her front door made the adorable child in her arms squeal. Felicity looked down at her daughter. Her chubby little arms were beating wildly through the open air as Felicity smiled. She bounced the giggling girl in her arms and laughed with infectious enthusiasm, “I think that’s Nana, Yes I do...” she gently coo’d as she pressed her daughter’s palm into her own. 

The blue eyed, blonde haired baby screamed with utter delight as Felicity shifted her towards her hip. She called out over her shoulder, “Mom the doors unlocked...” before adding, “and please don’t tell Oliver he’ll kill me!” 

Moira walked in holding three shopping bags and dismayed frown, “Angel he’s got a point...” she prattled as her heels clicked along the floors. 

Felicity rolled her eyes and babbled to her giggling daughter, “Nana’s only saying that because she wants us to move into the manor on the hill...” 

Moira gasped in amusement, “So you have noticed my not so subtle hints!” 

Felicity kissed her daughter’s flawless brow, “Hard not to,” she whispered along her daughter’s perfect skin. 

Moira moved around the highchair and placed her bags on the kitchen island’s counter. She then trailed her fingers along her grand-daughters tangled blonde curls before fixing Felicity with a motherly stare. “So have you two settled on her name?” 

Felicity’s eyes instantly fell, “That’s another reason for our night alone...” she noted with shame. 

Her precious Evie giggled as she nuzzled her perfect face into her mother’s shoulder. Felicity kissed her crown quickly then mumbled in her sweet smelling hair, “He’s still set on Donna but something about that just weird’s me out so I’m still set on Evie...” 

Moira sighed, “Is Evie short for Evelyn?” 

“Nope, just Evie, why?” she sighed as Moira’s stare made her lowly tremble. 

Her adoptive mother swept her fingers across her brow then left her fingers along her cheek. Her eyes twinkled brightly as she softly spoke, “Did you know that it took us four months to name Thea?” 

Felicity shook her head a little bit but replied, “No...why?” 

“Robert wanted something cute like Tiffany and I wanted something regal like Jocelyn so we literally argued for months while we both fought for our suggested names,” she offered as Felicity began to slowly sway she and Evie in place. 

“What helped you decide,” she murmured as she let her daughter’s chubby little fingers curl around one of her own. 

Moira smiled softly, “Oliver...he came in one night with our family tree and threw it down on the floor before us. He then declared with a very determined tone that we either pick a name from that list or he’d choose for us.” 

“And Thea comes from?” Felicity giggled with appreciation at her fiancé’s stubborn steak. 

Moira rubbed her thumb along her cheekbone and gazed down at her sweet grand-daughter, “It was from a distant cousin on my side,” she replied evenly. 

Felicity leaned into her affectionate touch and smiled contently, “What was Oliver’s choice going to be?” 

She chuckled at the fond memory, “Sydney,” she laughed. “He chose Sydney because we’d just visited Australia that spring. 

Felicity rolled the name around her tongue as her daughter’s sleepy eyes began to fall. “Sydney...Sydney Elizabeth Queen...” she murmured more to herself than to anyone else. 

Moira chuckled as she withdrew her hand, “I take it Elizabeth is because of your mother’s affinity for that name?” 

She nodded then added, “and of course the name has to go with Queen...” 

Her newly named daughter’s chubby cheek fell on her mother’s firm shoulder as she began to lightly snore. Felicity pressed her lips to her closed eyes and rubbed her palm over her curved back. Sydney snuggled into her mother’s embrace as Moira said, “Why not Sydney Elizabeth Smoak-Queen?” 

Felicity lifted her eyes and curved her lips as she rested her chin over her daughter’s forehead. “I’ve been an honorary Queen since I was five and while Oliver has already said we’re going to hyphenate I’m deciding we’re not...” 

Moira’s brow furrowed in confusion at her words. “Angel if he’s pushing for it then why aren’t you?” 

She smiled, “I don’t need her name to be a law firm, I can see my mother in her smile and I can hear my father in her laugh. I can see Oliver in her eyes and you in her skin tone. I can see everyone I love in my daughter, so her name should be about moving forward and not anchoring her to the past,” she realized aloud for perhaps the first time. 

“But Sydney is from the past?” Moira lightly debated with a broad smile. 

“Yeah but that name was chosen by the boy I fell for when I was five,” she whispered. “He’s the reason that she’s even here so I’d say that’s a pretty good link wouldn’t you agree?” 

Moira nodded in happy surrender. “Are you ready for me to take her for the evening?” 

Felicity nodded softly, “Just give me another minute,” she quietly asked. “I never knew what it feel like,” she whispered as she held her daughter close. 

“What, what would feel like sweetheart?” Moira asked knowingly. 

Felicity closed her eyes and breathed, “Feeling whole. I never knew what it would feel like when she made us whole...” 

* * *

 

Felicity surveyed her handiwork carefully. Moira took Sydney three hours ago leaving her enough time to scrub her house down from top to bottom. She stood before her floor to ceiling windows and carefully scanned the room with a critical eye. The late afternoon sun left her camisole covered skin feeling blissfully warm as she slowly cracked her weary neck. Their daughter’s door was closed, her “play” crib was straightened up and all her various toys were stowed within the confines of the white walls. She eyed her kitchen as she placed her palms over her waist. The granite was clear of any dirty dishes or small stuffed toys, her dishwasher had recently finished its load, the pots over the stove had been dusted then cleaned. Her stainless steel fridge was cleared of any spots or smudged fingerprints, her white cabinets looked brand new and her grey floors were practically worthy of being eaten off of. 

She sighed however when she noticed her family space was still not up to par...She frowned then mumbled, “I need about four more hours in any given day...” as she spotted a few tumbleweeds of dust roaming beneath her sectional. 

Her rug was still clean, and the glass covered coffee table was clear but still she wasn’t happy...she pressed her toes along her calf while she slid her palm over the nape of her neck. She exhaled tirelessly as the door knob turned. 

She glanced at the squeaking hinges and smiled a bit brighter when to her immense surprise came a beautiful array of mixed colored orchids. “I see someone remembered the prom story a bit too well...” she teased as his brilliant blue eyes came peering around the door frame. 

His smile made her heart melt and palms sweat as he slowly advanced into the mostly clean room. The beat from their downstairs neighbor’s music made his eyes slant downwards, “I see you didn’t have time to call it...” he groaned in annoyance as he placed the flowers gently on the kitchen counter. 

Felicity shrugged then resumed her visual inspection, “Sorry babe but between getting Sydney ready for mom and cleaning the house I got a bit distracted.” 

She had her bottom lip between her teeth when Oliver sputtered, “Sydney?” 

Felicity smiled a bit as she nodded slowly, “Yeah a little story inspired me to finally name our daughter.” She pulled along the hem of her camisole, “What do you think?” she asked nervously. 

He leaned into the island, his arms were folded over his chest as he cracked a breathtaking smile, “Mom told you about how they named Thea didn’t she?” 

Felicity nodded, “Yeah...” 

His chin fell to his chest as he quietly reflected. Felicity saw the way his shoulders instantly slumped. She stroked her toes over her calf once more and bit over her bottom lip. Her body felt jittery like she’d had five cups of coffee, her heart fluttered and her stomach churned as he remained silent. She wanting to diffuse the unintentional tension so she took the stolen moment to prattle on a bit about her day. “Mom also told me that my technology subdivision within the company will be ready to go by next week....so we might want to consider hiring a nanny since we’ll both be back to work.” 

Still his eyes remained steadily on the floor. Felicity suddenly felt tense so she traveled down another road, “She also brought up the idea of moving back home since they’ll be in Italy for the next year with the new merger?” her voice died when he still refused to budge. 

She was about to try one last topic when he said softly with muted tones, “When I found out we were having a girl I immediately wanted to name her Sydney...” Felicity’s body froze. Oliver’s shoulders shuddered as his affected voice echoed through her warming heart. “I remember that night once you’d fallen asleep with your head on my chest,” he laughed a bit as did she since that up until last night was their only form of real physical intimacy. “I remember tracing along the lines of the blurry sonogram photo and whispering there’s my Sydney...there’s my baby girl...” 

Felicity whispered, “Why didn’t you ever suggest it?” 

He glanced up finally with a flurry of emotions reflecting off his handsome face. She recognized the curve of his bottom lip when he replied, “You didn’t want anything tying her to our past and Sydney...” 

“Was perfect,” she interrupted quickly. “It’s perfect because it was thought up by the seven year old who melted my five year old heart.” 

Oliver’s blue eyes nearly shimmered when he sighed, “A child can’t fall in love Felicity...” 

She cocked her head as her fingers massaged along the base of her spine, “Why not? I did,” she volleyed as he smirked. 

“You had an odd way of showing it,” he countered as she laughed timidly. 

“I was scared,” she allowed with brevity. 

He nodded in polite acceptance, “So was I...” 

Her stomach jumped, “What do you mean you were scared?” she mused with quiet reflection.

His blue eyes sparked as he undid the first button along his dress jacket. She wanted to move but didn’t; she stayed there in the center of the family room with her nervous fingers along the nape of her neck. Oliver grinned with sweet intentions while muttering, “This isn’t about my hang-ups Felicity.”

“It can be,” she murmured with regret when she shot him a sorry gaze. “It needs to be,” she corrected when he returned the timid stare.

His fingers slipped over the second button as he smiled sadly. She seemed to squeak as her head fell and her lips parted, “I’m afraid you won’t desire me…”

He almost coughed, “What?” as the sound of shock rolled through her nimble body.

She shrugged before taking a small step forward, “Well I just realized that not once in our entire relationship have you ever let me see your fears so…”

“So you thought by giving up your biggest one I’d perhaps give you a few of my own in exchange,” he surmised with his adorable questioning tone.

She wrinkled her small nose and grinned slightly, “Love’s a two way street baby and as you said you can’t fight for us alone…”

She saw him lean forward once her amused words had found their home within his forgiving heart. She remained still as he slowly approached. He first removed his dress jacket and threw it on one of the chairs along the kitchen island’s bar. She removed the elastic from her hair and pulled her fingers through the tangled mess. She apologized briefly, “I truly meant to take a shower…”

His sweet smile of amusement grew. Her own lips curved when his fingers landed over the knot of his partially undone tie. “I’m guessing we’re going to rectify that situation aren’t we?”

She heard her voice falter, “Ummm, we can I guess?”

His fingers moved swiftly down the tie, “Although you’ll end up needing another one if the night goes the way I’m expecting it to…” he announced like one would if they were announcing dinner.

Felicity’s heart raced, “So ummm you’re going to ease my concerns over my changed body?” she let the question fall flat as her body began to betray her brain.

In a rare move Oliver took a page from her book and bit along his lower lip. Felicity’s entire body tensed in spontaneous arousal as he slowly undid the remainder of his tie. His dark chuckle made her stomach burn, “Well,” he started with the voice of aged whiskey, “you’re afraid I won’t desire you so I’m going to remedy that situation by discovering the parts of your body that you’re afraid I no longer yearn to touch.”

Felicity’s heat fell to her pattering feet. “You know that’s not fair,” she complained. “You say something so completely erotic and I’m left standing here like a damn puddle wondering how you ever decided to fall in love with someone who could barely utter the word sex until she was 20!” Her chest heaved in aggravation while he continued to casually remove his clothing.

His fingers were along his shirt buttons when he spoke gingerly, “Your hips are wider since the baby was born.”

Felicity’s hands flew to her waist at the completely off subject comment as she scowled, “How in the world do you know that?”

She swallowed a low pant when he slowly pulled his shirt tails out from his still buckled pants. His eyes glinted with mischief when he lowly replied, “I know every square inch of your body Felicity…”

She gulped, “But you haven’t touched me in months?”

He sighed as his shirt hit the floor, he proceeded to kick off his black dress shoes with careless ease while she remained confused by his words from before. He removed his dress socks quickly and still she stood there flummoxed. She finally stepped backwards toward their open bedroom door when his body taunted her cruelly once he placed his fingers over his belt buckle. She slipped her fingers past the waistband of her sweats and groaned darkly in muted realization, “You’ve been watching me haven’t you?”

His slow nod made her lips part and her body quiver. “You leave the door open when you shower; so most mornings before you’d come to kiss my cheek I’d simply lie on my side and watch you rapidly dry your wet skin.”

His words made her moan from her stomach, “That’s kinda perverted…”

His trousers fell to the floor, she watched him slowly step out of them before his fingers fell beneath his boxer’s waistband. Her mouth nearly watered when the thin material fell to the floor. He smirked when her eyes fell to behold his fairly substantial arousal, “So is you doing the same thing…”

Her eyes widened, “I honestly thought you never noticed?” she squeaked as he sauntered closer. Her spine hit the frame of their bathroom door when she muttered, “Can you honestly blame me?”

His seductive smile and aroused blue eyes made her thighs quiver as her palms landed against the wall. Oliver pressed his nearly hardened erection over her lower abdomen so his tip was dancing dangerously close to her hungry clit. Her body trembled when he grazed his fingers up the line of her exposed forearms, her heart nearly stopped when he hooked his thumbs in fabric of her camisoles hem. He deftly pulled the material upward as she slowly felt her palms moving along the surface of the drywall behind her. He nearly stammered, “I was afraid you’d never see who I became…”

Felicity’s quivering lips fell, “Oliver I fell for you before I knew what falling meant…” she breathed as he slowly began to expose her untouched skin. The air conditioner kicked on, the vent above her head whistled slightly when the cold air rushed rapidly through the air ducts. She shivered when the room grew steadily colder. Oliver brushed his thumbs across her navel; her head fell back instantly when his index finger grazed the underside of her right breast.

His rich voice made her skin vibrate as he said, “I’m the one who put the barrier up this time…”

She tilted her head along the wall sighed as he slowly pushed her shirt up and over her erect nipples. “You pulled away because of my medical history didn’t you?”

She felt his thumbs ghosting over the pert tips when he mumbled lowly, “Being here without both of you wasn’t even close to a viable option.”

She slowly began to raise her arms once she felt the heaviness of her breasts falling over her ribcage. Oliver pulled her top off carefully as her eyes fluttered. Her dark voice vibrated through her wanton body when she finally managed to moan, “Having sex is just one form of intimacy Oliver, we could have done other things to keep our physical relationship strong.”

She heard her shirt hit the floor shortly after he began to trail the tips of his fingertips down her curved sides. She felt the small lines along the pads of fingers as he deliberately took his time in reaching her curvier waist. She heard his breath catch in his throat before his mumbled words ghosted along her collarbone. “Yes but then this moment wouldn’t be nearly this incredible.”

“Finding something you like Mr. Queen?” she teased as his touch began to tickle along her lower ribcage.

He sounded amazed when he muttered, “You’re body is so…”

“Flabby, out of shape, untoned, and lined with stretch marks?” she guessed mainly in fear.

Oliver swallowed a dull laugh but still managed to whisper, “No you idiot you’re fucking beautiful…”  

Her chest heaved, “Then why aren’t you inside me yet?” she begged as his palms fell along her waist. She wound her fingers through his thick hair and growled harshly when his fingers played along the skin of her hips. “Come on baby don’t make me beg…”

She felt his smirk along her earlobe when his husky voice made her quiver down to her trembling toes, “I won’t be gentle about this…”

She tugged roughly at his hair then bit sharply at his jaw before murmuring, “Who asked you to gentle about anything?”

He bit roughly at her jaw making her scream as he quickly removed her remaining clothes. She felt the heat and, strength of his cock along her parted lips as he slightly bent his knees. He grazed her skin with his teeth once more before his dark words made her body internally scream, “I’m going to fuck you hard and fast baby…”

She rubbed her slick nether lips over his tip then screamed, “Enough stalling either fuck me or I’ll make myself come…” Ten seconds later her eyes rolled beneath her closed lids as her inner walls stretched painfully to accommodate his growing length. Her hips bucked sharply, her voice sounded pained when she cried, “I forgot how this felt…”

Oliver’s small laugh made her thighs burn, “That’s a bit insulting honey…”

She took the joke in stride as her muscles began to relax. The sharp twinge near the small of her back began to ease; her knees shook as he slowly began to guide her body forward and the up. His palms were against her lower ass; her chest was pressed to his, her rock hard nipples felt like glaciers cutting along a ship’s bow as their skin brushed. His lips drifted over her tilted neck while she used her fingers to tug along his hair. He grunted sharply, “You planning on having a bald husband?”

She lowly screamed, “Would you prefer to bleed?”

He nuzzled her skin with his nose and whispered along her pulse point, “Sex makes you funny.”

She laughed as he let her feel every elongated inch. His stride was slow, and steady. His body was hard, defined and hungry as her stomach burned for the sharpness of two wanton bodies in mid-collision. Felicity’s coarse voice echoed through the empty room, “I’ll be a riot once I’m sated so if you don’t mind…”

He took the hint but before she felt empty he whispered softly with indescribable love, “I don’t work without you…”

She pressed her lips to his temple then replied in kind, “Nor do I…”  

She felt every inch of him as he slowly pulled out, her body tensed along his own; she felt the corded muscles of his forearms flexed to support her waist once she managed to lock her knees around his waist. She shuddered as her body hiccupped once only his wetted tip remained. He sucked roughly at the tender skin along her collarbone as she managed to drag her fingers down to his shoulders. She felt the low grin of a satisfied man appearing over her flesh just before her body burned and screamed from his punishing assault. He rammed forward until she felt the wall behind her crack. Her spine tingled, her bones ached and her core burned as Oliver’s promise became more than naughty words. He fell silent as he honed his focus. She quivered with each stride, she screamed like those pathetic women she’d heard about from porno’s as her cries of “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me…” began to cascade freely from her unoccupied mouth.

His fingers tightened when he too began to chant, “Come for me baby, give it up Felicity, come on fucking come…” along her heated skin.

He sent her back into the wall over and over again, his speed was impressive, his mouth was dirty and his body was dripping with their mixed sweat once she began to meet his thrusts half way. Each time he pumped inward she moved along him sharply. Her body tingled as her inner walls hugged his cock. He felt long, strong, and almost dangerous as his tip penetrated her over and over and over again…She cried loudly as her head fell forward along his shoulder, “Don’t stop…come on baby, make me come…”

He growled “So fucking beautiful,” darkly as his lips trailed along her cheek.

She whimpered, “Come on Oliver, make me complete…”

He pushed harder; her body began to shatter as she accepted him gratefully. Her fingers felt raw, her knees ached and skin was covered with their sweet, sticky, mixed sweat as another line began to roll leisurely down the spine of her back. His anchored hands began to grind over her skin, his touch now mimicked the movement of his hips as he thrusted harder, and deeper. His lips were at the corner of her mouth, her fingers were clawing at his skin, his knees now supported both their weights as she let out an all consuming, “FUCK, FUCK, FUCK…YES, YES, YES, ALMOST THERE…”

He drove harder, as he moaned along her lips, “You’re mine…”

She felt his tongue slipping over hers when she muttered, “I always was…”

She felt her spine break, her skin was on fire, and her body was in the midst of an all out sensory black out when she finally screamed, “YES, YES, YES….”

His croaked, “Fuck,” raced down her throat until it reached her hollow belly.

He consumed her final, “Fuck yes, “with a rough kiss. Her body rolled over and over and over again as her orgasm shattered her body into millions of indiscernible pieces. She felt his body quake and weaken when he filled her inner core. She could almost taste his release as it swam warmly through the darkest places of her quenched soul. She dug her fingers along his shoulders then breathed as their lips finally parted, “Wow…”

Her forehead fell along his as he pushed her further into the wall. She felt him lean inward with weary bones before his muttered, “Fucking perfect…” cascaded across her lips.

She laughed with no breathes left in her now feeble lungs, “I think we made up for a few months on that one…”

He kissed her chastely, “How could you ever think I’d be any less aroused by you?”

She brushed her fingers along his sweaty skin, she could feel his fingers massaging her rounded ass when she finally muttered, “Every time I look in the mirror I can see the changes. My hips are wider, my stomach isn’t yet flat and breast feeding doesn’t do wonders for your tits…”

He kissed her almost feverishly as his erection finally began to soften, “You’re softer yes but you’re body is still so strong, it’s remarkable Felicity, you brought a life into the world honey, you’re a fucking miracle, you give us our miracle,” he insisted as she let his endearments race through her heated blood.

His lips were still hovering over her own when she mused, “You don’t mind the sagging breasts?”

He laughed darkly, “Once we’re in bed I’ll show you again what the sight of your naked body does to me…”

She involuntarily quivered but asked none the less, “Can you take me again?”

She felt his stare when he whispered against her parted mouth, “Oh can I…”

The wall along her back suddenly vanished, his legs felt strong and sure as he moved them backward, his lips were on hers when he placed her coiled body on their shared bed. His kisses began to sear her soul as his body moved slowly above her, her mind raced, her fingers clenched, and her body tensed as Oliver made good on his promise…

* * *

 

Her hair was splayed around her pillow, his fingers were tangled in her hair, her arms were around his shoulders, their blankets were tossed around their waists, her toes were sliding along his calves, and their lips were tangled as they traded long, rough and, punishing kisses. His pectorals burned her nipples as their hips moved in their own circular rhythms, he was solid within her once again, her inner walls were screaming for their release as he slowly consumed her…

Felicity ended the kiss to pull the remaining air around their coiled bodies into her empty lungs. She gasped, “I thought this was just going to be a heavy make out thing…”

His forehead fell over her own as her eyes slid shut for the fourth time that night, she bit along her bottom lip and, held back another soul shattering scream as her release coated his skin. His whispered words brushed her cheeks gently, “I told you we’d end fucking again…”

She laughed once her heart found a less erotic beat, “Why do we also use that vulgar term? I mean we’re making love aren’t we?” she thought aloud as Oliver’s fingers began tracing along her brow.

She felt him settle within her as he flooded her body once more, she silently wondered if he was going for child number two when he replied breathlessly, “We’re always making love but I think it’s easier to call it fucking, it’s sounds more erotic I guess when we remove the love component.”

Her brow furrowed, “Maybe it’s our way of keeping the flame alive…”

Her theory made his lips curve, “How so?” he asked softly as he parted from her once more. She felt him settle between her thighs while she rested her bent knees near his hips. His elbows were by her arms; his fingers were dancing over her collarbone as she trailed her own down his sweaty back.

“I think sex for us is just so layered. I mean clearly we’re drawn to each other…” she began while Oliver kissed her softly.

He murmured into another deep kiss, “Clearly since we’ve had sex four times in the span of a few hours…”

Felicity dipped her tongue past his parted lips as she mumbled, “Yeah are you trying for another baby?”

He ended the kiss slowly then replied, “So what if I am?”

Her brows raised, “Don’t you want more than a year between them? Hell don’t you want your hot wife back?”

He gazed at her longingly, “No and she’s lying beneath me, what else you got?”

Felicity croaked, “You’re serious aren’t you?”

He nodded as their noses brushed, “I want another child and that would be another layer to your sex theory wouldn’t it?”

She nodded then slowly brushed his lips, “It would yes but sweetie another child is a trigger for me,” she swallowed painfully then admitted, “Sydney was a complication free pregnancy what if we try again and something goes wrong?”

Oliver put some space between their faces while their bodies remained entwined, “Then we’ll deal with it but, Felicity I know you, I know how your mind works and frankly if I want another child I better knock you up before you have the chance to change it…”

She rolled her blue eyes and snickered, “So the whole let’s just fuck endlessly to reconnect was really let’s fuck until I’m knocked up huh?”

He gently shrugged which made her smile even brighter, “If you didn’t want to risk another pregnancy you would have taken precautions.”

Felicity huffed knowing he was right, “You sound like Mom.”

He chuckled, “Well this is how I became a father…well that and some amazing shower sex but that’s not the point,” he added with glimmering eyes.

She trailed her fingers down his skin, “Yeah but with Sydney we completely disconnected. We barely touched for a year and that’s not good for either of us…” she lightly noted with a tinge of regret. “I can’t go through another year like that, I honestly can’t go without sex for that long…” she grunted in shame.

Oliver coughed in shock then muttered, “Oh trust me that won’t happen again…”

She eyed him then chose another angle, “We’ll be pushing off our wedding again…”

“Not if we get married next week before Mom and Dad leave for Italy,” he mentioned almost too quickly.

Felicity groaned, “She’s bringing our daughter back in some horrible mini flower girl’s dress isn’t she?”

His eyes rose almost to his hairline. Felicity pinched his skin making him mutter, “Oh please you’re my wife already it just has to be legal…”

Felicity remained silent but only to think of her next words. She saw his blues eyes grow warmer as he pushed her hair behind her ears. She smiled despite herself then lowly surrendered. “Fine we’ll get married next week but, still I’m not sure how I feel about you tricking me into having another baby…”

He brushed his thumbs down her cheeks until they were over her lips, “Seriously though?” he started honestly, “I wasn’t trying for another child, I’d never do that without you being on board but I can’t say I’d be unhappy if we did indeed conceive our second child tonight; and secondly good because Mom’s already booked the minster for Saturday at the house.”

“I know,” she admitted easily as she kissed the pads of his thumbs.

His eyes jumped, “You know what?”

She laughed at the oversight in her response. Her lips curved as she sputtered, “I know you’d never trick me into having another child. I know this was truly about us reconnecting and no I didn’t know about the wedding…”

He chuckled, “We can call it off if you want to wait.”

She kissed his thumbs again, “Yeah,” she exhaled, “I could but you’re my husband in my heart so it’s about time we had it writing to.”

He asked slyly, “Wanna finish your sex theory?”

She winked, “Why you think it will lead to another round?”

“I’m hoping,” he admitted eagerly.

She couldn’t help but giggle a quick, “I love you,” before she began again with “sex means babies, and fucking means passion, and fire, and all the other emotions that come with the need to feel someone moving within you.” She took a sated breath, “I’m just wondering if the word fuck is just another wall I’m leaving up for reassurances.”  

Oliver’s voice softened in empathy, “Whether you call it sex, fucking, or making love Felicity, whenever we come together like this we’re becoming one you know that right? The term doesn’t matter because each time I’m with you they all apply.”

She sighed in limited acceptance, “Yeah but still don’t you feel it’s cheapening the bond we share? I mean we’re basically husband and wife, we have a daughter, we’re committed to each other and I’m probably pregnant right now so don’t you feel that the word just doesn’t apply?”  

His smile made her body melt beneath him, “If the word was a barrier you wouldn’t have said I was your husband, you wouldn’t sound nearly so calm about being pregnant again and, you wouldn’t be lying here you’d be down the street and around the corner. Felicity it’s just a word, it’s an erotic word that turns us both on that’s it,” he stated easily.

She let his words once again roll over her body like a tidal wave. She let herself find solace in the fact that she was his wife, she was a mother and she was alive. She let herself take stock of their entire story before replying with hope, “You’re right,” she gulped. “You’re right because we have it all. We have passion, anger, longing, desire, ownership, lust, erotic urges, and most importantly love. We have love,” she repeated, “We’re in love and that’s the one wall that will never fall,” she smiled when he leaned closer and pressed his lips to hers. She whispered as his tongue began to part her lips, “I’m completely in love with you.”

His words became lost but she still heard his faint if not raspy, “I’m so in love with you…” as the endearment slid down her throat.

She moved her fingers up his cheeks as the kiss deepened, she moaned darkly, “Fuck me again…” as his body began to react.

He parted them briefly to ask, “Are you sure? You might actually end up pregnant before dawn.”

She pulled his lips to hers then kissed him roughly before she rasped against his parted, panting mouth, “Then fuck me and get the job done…”


	5. You're my Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter is here. We get a glimpse of the wedding day and we finally learn more about what pushed them both into eachother's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always the support for anything I write truly astounds me. I'm always blown away with gratitude and as usual this story is no exception. Thank you for reading and for making the process of writing a truly fulfilling one. 
> 
> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

 

**You're My Moment**

 

**Chapter 5**

 

Present day... 

 

The rain pelted against the stained glass of the foyer angrily, the sky shook with thunderous rage before it became lit from the endless streaks of lightning. She slowly began her silent count....the room around her grew dark, the clock behind her ticked, the fingers along its face moved steadily, the clouds outside grew steadily darker...

Her mouth curved, her bottom up formed a small U while her upper lip mirrored the other. She felt the vibration of the storm racing through her veins. The rain was her blood, the thunder her heart and the lightning her soul. Felicity breathed deeply just as the sky roared...

“You still do that?” came a quiet voice from the doorway behind her still form. 

Her smile was small but earnest in nature, “Yeah, why don’t you do things to ease your nerves? she asked just when the sky grew bright. ‘

The voice behind her grew closer; the tenor grew soft and, the inflection hopeful. “I do, but generally I don’t have to wait for a massive thunder storm to decompress.” 

Felicity’s laugh was one of honest amusement, “Peanut you like your brother have a way with words.” 

“He’s also your husband...” she teased lightly then added softly, “Even if mom and dad don’t yet know it...” 

Felicity’s shoulders fell just as Thea’s words washed away the peace of the approaching storm. “Are you and Ollie really going to pretend you didn’t get married almost a year ago?” 

She shook her bent head and raised her hands into the air above her bent head, “I knew he couldn’t lie to you...” she merely noted with amused knowledge. “I knew he’d crack the moment he saw your sweet smile,” she laughed mostly to herself. 

“Please you would have cracked even faster,” she scolded with the grace of her mother. 

Felicity sighed and slowly began to turn. Thea’s shoes tapped along the hardwood floors, her jean covered legs were held in the staunch position of authority. Felicity’s eyes grew wider when she noted how her fingers tapped along her bent elbows, her lips were pursed and her eyes curious. “Okay Peanut out with it...” Felicity gently coaxed. “Why are you really asking about the wedding?” 

Thea’s wide, brown eyes grew dim, her skin paled and her shoulders slumped. “Well...” she croaked nervously. 

Felicity took a small step forward then crossed her arms to mirror Thea’s stance. The younger Queen eyed her carefully before she gently pointed her chin to the banner just beyond her slim shoulder. Felicity followed the gesture and smiled knowingly. The small makeshift banner from the welcome home party was still clinging to the arch over the door with failing pins. She recognized Syd’s small hand prints next to her’s and Oliver’s. Her nose crinkled in delight at the smaller smudges next to Thea’s. 

“It makes me wonder if perhaps the three of us were the only one’s not in attendance?” Thea whispered when Felicity chose to gaze back towards the younger woman’s fallen brow. 

Felicity smiled at the memory, “If you wanted to know you could have just asked,” she suggested sweetly. 

“Yeah but I didn’t want to pry,” she eeked quietly. “I mean you two chose to keep that moment for you...” she remarked a bit sadly. 

Felicity tilted her head in agreement, “We did Peanut but, it’s a bit more complicated than that.” 

“How so?” she asked earnestly. 

Felicity saw the way she ran her hands up and down her small frame as her words slowly tumbled out. Felicity gauged her voice, her movements and her eyes before she made her final observations. “Well you know how we became an us I assume?” she started hesitantly. 

Thea’s head shook woefully, “Nope I was always too young...” 

Felicity gulped then slowly began to unfold her arms. She felt her younger brown eyes rolling down to the floor. Felicity called out cautiously, “Peanut maybe I could tell you our story?” 

Her brown eyes brightened, “Just you and me? No mom, or Ollie?” she sounded the same as she did the first time Felicity suggested they try and bond. 

“Yeah Peanut, Oliver has Syd and Eden so I think we could use some sister bonding time how about you?” 

Thankfully Felicity already had her arms out because seconds later her precious little peanut was wrapped snugly within her warm embrace. Thea’s nose tickled her cheek when she whispered, “I missed you Lissy.” 

Felicity replied in kind, “I missed you too Peanut.” 

* * *

 

Roughly 1 year before...

Moving always sucked. She wished for a more eloquent phrase but, sadly none ever came. She searched for countless hours, the phrase always remained on the tip of tongue as her mind became a virtual thesaurus. She tried aggravating or even tumultuous but in the end sucked was the word that fit. She pushed aside a stack of boxes that rose to about her slender shoulders. Her fingers flipped easily over the cardboard flaps while she hummed gently. The words were a mystery but the tune was always the same...

“I can’t believe we’re sleeping in my old bedroom...” she heard him mutter from the door’s open threshold. 

Felicity jostled the box when she placed her fingers beneath the folded edges. The sweaters and other items slipped from side to side as she gently lowered it to the floor. “I can’t believe mom and dad left three days early,” she grumbled back. 

His footfalls sounded wet and heavy, his breathes sounded tight and, his voice sounded strained, “They said the merger became complicated Felicity, they didn’t mean to have us reschedule the wedding...” 

She rolled her crystal, blue eyes and, crouched down so the opened edges of the box rested along her knees. “Yeah well the ceremony is still set for tomorrow and, if you succeeded in your task I’ll be showing soon,” she gently reminded him with amusement. 

She heard the springs of their bed beneath his solid, if not very nicely chiseled form. He breathed in frustration, “We can’t do it Felicity...we can’t get married without them here!” 

She folded the empty box and, pushed the sturdy cardboard aside. She brushed over her bent knees then slowly began to stand. “Oliver I’ve agreed to marry you, I’m most likely pregnant with our second child and, I’m a known flight risk,” she argued with raised brows. “Don’t you think it makes sense to simply do the deed?” 

The second the words passed her lips she felt her skin turning bright red. Oliver’s hooded eyes made her skin flush even further, “Hmmm do the deed?” he probed with calculated humor. 

Felicity’s palms fell to her waist, her eyes fell to the floor and, her words came out in a mumbled mess, “We’ve clearly done that...and well dammit I’m ready to be your wife.” 

Oliver’s voice squeaked, “Ready?” 

Felicity carefully raised her eyes. Oliver’s own gaze was between shocked and simmering. “We’re not having sex Oliver,” she croaked, “I’m still sore and secondly I’d like it if our second child was born to her married parents.” 

She saw his palm fly to the nape of his neck; she in turn timidly bit at her lower lip. His pause made her heart flutter and her knees shake. She gulped, “Ummm honey this is when you say something reassuring.” 

Oliver softly smiled, “Honey you’re already my wife,” he replied as ordered. 

She released her bottom lip, “Yeah but not legally,” she commented nervously. 

His chest rumbled with contained laughter when he picked at her second statement, “We’re having another girl are we?” 

She glared, “Avoiding and, well yes I think if I’m pregnant again it’s going to be with a girl,” she both answered and obliged with calculated ease. 

Oliver’s eyes darkened, she raised her finger and shook it slowly, “Don’t even buster,” she warned while his eyes fell quiet. She nodded with grim approval, “See you can listen...”

“I try,” he mumbled before he fell in surrender to his back. The bed creaked as his weight tumbled over the worn springs. Felicity couldn’t contain her laughter when the images of their childhood started rushing through her mind. Oliver glanced up with his palms over his stomach and asked, “Ummm babe what’s so funny?” 

Her head fell back as her fingers became knotted in her hair. Her almost husband stared at her with beguiled eyes while she attempted to bring her mindless giggles under control. Her stomach ached when she finally spat out, “The mattress creaked...” 

She didn’t see him staring at her quizzically when he mumbled, “And this is somehow funny?” 

She hollered, “Yes! Don’t you remember how it got that way?” she giggled uncontrollably as she slowly began falling to the floor. She clutched her stomach and leaned forward as her knees touched the hard ground. 

Oliver mumbled again, “I’m married to a crazy person...” 

She argued instantly, “Not crazy and not legally,” before her stomach pained her again. 

He muttered, “How is...” then fell quiet when she finally managed to say...

“I was nine and you were eleven...” 

With tears in her bright eyes she glanced up and smiled happily, “Don’t you remember we were trying to break the box springs?” 

Her question puzzled him but, only for a split second...His eyes lit up like Christmas day when he realized, “I had a twin bed...” 

Felicity nodded slowly in delight, “Yup and we had the bright idea of breaking the box springs so she’d buy you a queen mattress set. Don’t you remember? I hated ending up on the floor so we schemed to get the bigger bed.” 

His head fell back before his strong, deep, resounding laughter filled the large room, “My god we jumped on that thing for hours!” 

“Yeah don’t you remember she made us sleep on that broken down piece of crap for a week as punishment?” Felicity giggled. 

Oliver chimed in shortly after, “I swore I’d never jump on anything again...” 

Felicity chirped, “I’d say you broke that promise...” 

He would have glared had he not been so amused, “Jumping on you doesn’t count....You usually ask for it,” he chided with affection. 

She grumbled, “Yeah I usually do...” 

Oliver’s voice sounded content when he abruptly changed the subject, “So you really wanna marry me tomorrow?” 

Felicity still clutching her stomach immediately sobered, “Really? You’re agreeing that we can go ahead as planned” she stammered happily while their previous conversation became a distant memory.  

Her eyes met his, it was blue against blue, fire against fire, and affection mixed with utter longing, “I think those two kids would be disappointed if we followed mom’s wishes...” he whispered softly while he remained still along the bed. 

She kept her arms anchored to her stomach, her knees were along the floor and her smile was almost to her earlobes, “You’ve made me so incredibly happy Oliver Queen,” she whispered back with tears once again forming in her eyes. 

His eyes twinkled and his lips curved, “Ditto Felicity Smoak, Ditto...” he breathed while the late afternoon sun lit the wall behind her.

* * *

 

Felicity pushed the stray hair behind the shell of her ear and, let her eyes trail down the length of her back. The sunlight poured through the upper semi-circle windows, the glass left shadows of red and orange along the crisp, white material. She brushed at the small dust particles in the sunbeams scope while she carefully began to turn. Her antique shoes peaked out from beneath the floor skirting dress, the white lace paneling of the shoes was hidden but her discomfort was not. 

She felt the blisters beginning to form along the back of her ankles; the skin she knew was already puckered and raw. She heard Sydney cooing softly from the bedside bassinet; her chubby little fingers were flying through the air while she giggled with delight. Felicity smiled with genuine affection then murmured, “How does mommy look baby?” 

Her daughter squealed then fell quiet as Felicity finished her small turn. With her eyes once more pouring over her reflection she lightly grinned. The dress was simple, classic and some might even say timeless. She brushed her fingers over her exposed upper chest; the lines of her fingers fell over the soft, supple lace trim of the folded edge. Her eyes ran down the tight, lace covered bodice before her gaze landed over the edge of the fading design. The dress didn’t conform to her waist like she’d thought; it instead created a smooth line over her rounded hips. She twisted her waist and chuckled when the satin like material flowed around her slim legs. 

She cocked her head and lifted her fingers to a few more fallen strands. The small, loose curls that she’d managed to pull into a very elegant fishtail braid were beginning to fall from the intricate design. She reached around and patted the messy bun at the base of her neck. The bobby pins were secured but, still she worried that one wrong brush of his hand and her hair would fall apart. She pursued her pale, pink lips and looked over her lightly applied make up. She wanted an ethereal look so she’d opted for whites, pinks and even some light glitter over the arc of her eye bone. 

Sydney coo’d from the center of the room, Felicity’s eyes flashed to her babies reflection while she sweetly mumbled, “Hey there baby girl...” 

Sydney’s fingers bubbled along the foam stars of her mobile. Felicity grinned and finished checking her appearance. Her cheeks were rosy, her heart was full and in about ten minutes she’d be carrying her own angel downstairs for her wedding day. She mumbled once more, “Okay baby girl are you ready to be my witness, flower girl and maid of honor?” 

Sydney’s coo’s echoed through not only the empty room but her heart as well. Felicity took one last steely breath and did what she’d been trying to do for the past hour. She fought to remain composed and, for once thanked her lucky stars that Oliver was willing to let her get dressed alone. She glanced at the mirror and smiled lamely, her mother’s picture was tapped to the left corner, her father with Moira and Robert were in the photo directly below it. She laughed quietly, “My God both of you would kill me for crying right now...” 

The tree right outside her window scraped along the window panes as the wind suddenly began to blow. She shot the window a tender look and swallowed a delighted sigh, “See...I knew you’d have something to say.” 

Just then Sydney giggled. Felicity’s eyes shot up to the ceiling. She mumbled, “Hi Daddy...” before her sparking eyes fell upon her own slightly marred face. The glitter that was once only on her eyes had begun to drift down to her upper cheek bones; she’d yet to shed a tear but, she knew waterproof mascara was an amazing choice. She gulped back a, “This is so stupid,” before straightening her back and pushing her shoulders backwards. Her palms fell along her waist, her chest expanded, and her lips quivered. 

“Well mom I heard you...” she started roughly with an ache forming in her chest. “I tried to ignore the signs,” she nearly wept as her chin fell to her chest. “I’m so in love with him Mom, I’m so utterly, and completely, and helplessly in love with him.” 

The branches bounced against the window again, she took a shaky breath and laughed slightly, “He fought for me Mom, he actually fought for me,” she continued. “He pushed past all my defenses; he broke my heart only to then help it heal.” She found the strength to face her own reflection once more. The glass seemed to shimmer with an otherworldly light when she whispered, “He’s the best gift you could have given me, he’s how I found my heart.” 

She blinked away a few small tears and sniffed back a small, “I wish you both could see how much he loves me...” 

The mirror continued to shimmer, her eyes continued to water as her lips curved into a small smile. “We know Felicity...we know sweetheart,” she heard as the wind howled through the many trees along the property line. 

She murmured, “I miss you...” as the shimmering glass began to fall flat. The wind fell silent, as the room began to darken. She nodded in silent acceptance before turning on her nearly 3 inch pumps. Sydney was busy pushing her thumbs along the stars above her, Felicity’s heart pulsed within her with peace as she lightly coo’d to her giggling daughter, “Come on baby let’s go get mommy hitched.” 

* * *

 

Sydney was outfitted in a white almost sailor looking dress with the matching shoes. Her blonde hair was curled and, her chubby little legs were kicking along her soon to be expanding stomach. She pressed her fingers along her daughter’s hip and whispered along her forehead, “Hey let’s not damage your sister’s developing head with those ninja feet!” 

“Sister huh?” Oliver quipped from the foot of the stairs. 

Felicity nearly froze. The hand she was using to hold up her dress fell open then flew back to her daughter’s waving arm. She gulped, “God you’re perfect...” as he stood there with his arms outstretched in a crisp, black tuxedo. 

His white, dazzling smile made her body shudder uncontrollably, her arms shook slightly when he professed openly without a trace of hesitancy, “You’re beyond any perfection I’ve experienced up until now...”  

Her eyes ran over his chiseled jaw. He’d cleaned up his normal scruff, his blue eyes looked almost gem like, his smile was breathtaking and, that was just his face. The tux fit exquisitely over his sculpted frame. She could almost count the ridges of his abdominal muscles through the crisp, white shirt. Felicity took a tender step forward, the toe of her shoe slipped down to the next step easily while Oliver reached for her waist. 

Sydney giggled and, they both laughed in reply. “I’d say she’s happy about being in her parent’s wedding,” Oliver teased. 

Felicity shrugged her shoulders and dropped her forehead to her daughter’s crown, “Yes but our family is going to be very upset...” she mumbled as Oliver’s palm slid along her waist. 

She felt his soft mumbled reply along her skin when he pressed his lips to their daughter’s waving fingers, “Yeah but if you’re pregnant we’ll be instantly forgiven...” 

Felicity grumbled, “How very true...” 

He chuckled and asked their daughter, “Okay baby girl are you ready to hear mommy and daddy’s mushy vows?” 

Sydney giggled and cooed as she always did. Felicity quipped almost involuntarily, “You know when she starts talking we’re going to be screwed...” 

“If she inherits your mouth then yes that’s true,” he quipped back with his fingers dancing along her slim waist. 

Felicity sighed, “I wish he could just marry us here...” 

She felt his gaze growing stronger over her flushing skin. His confused words tumbled freely once his eye brows were to his hairline, “Ummm why?” 

“It’s where we became friends or don’t you remember that?” she explained coyly. 

She felt him rubbing his palm along Sydney’s back as he muttered, “We made a deal...we agreed with a spit shake to be best friends after...” 

“Tommy pelted me with a rather large snowball,” she provided before his lips could form the words. 

His eyes sparkled, “Yeah you had some ice in your eye,” he mentioned softly as the memory rolled through both their bodies. 

She pressed her lips to Sydney’s temple, “You agreed that he’d been mean so to make amends you suggested we learn to become friends,” she recalled with muted tones. 

Oliver’s fingers rubbed along the fabric of her dress softly, “You really wanna do this right here?” he asked as he inched past Sydney’s smiling face and towards her exposed cheek. 

She felt her body tremble with relief when his lips brushed along her upper cheek bone, “You made the world good again,” she started with tears clinging to her lower eyelashes. 

His lips quivered, “You saved me after Tommy’s death...” 

“You saved me after my parent’s death as well,” she admitted before the minister’s soft voice broke through the tender exchange. 

“Seeing as you’re both not moving I’m sensing you’ll be married on the stairs,” he stated warmly with fatherly regard. His voice made her soul sing when he said, “We are gathered here to join these two souls. One is strong, stubborn, and a quite a handful.” 

Felicity giggled, “Thank you Minister Joe...” 

“You’re welcome but that was Oliver...” he replied as Oliver placed his forehead to her temple. “You Felicity are also strong, but willful, and determined to live by your own rules.” 

Oliver groaned, “Yeah let’s not rehash that trait.” 

The older, balding man at the foot of the stairs pushed past the comment. His warm, velvet like voice wrapped them both in a warm blanket of endless love. “They’ve chosen to express their love in their own words so I’ll let our bride go first since her groom seems eager for verbal reassurances.” 

Felicity hugged her daughter to her side and savored the feeling of her small family being within her physical orbit. Oliver’s lips ghosted over her skin while his fingers continued to trudge along the fabric at her waist. She felt her lungs burn as the oxygen began to seep through her quivering lips, “I thought loving you would kill you.” 

He whispered, “No not doing so would have done that...” 

She felt a small smile tugging at her lips. She quivered happily when her heart finally made its truth known. “You’re my everything; you’re my entire world next to Sydney. I fell for you first when we were seven and I was five. You welcomed me into your home, you welcomed me into your heart and, before long you made me do the same. I fell for a second time when I was eighteen, my heart was broken, my soul was a mess and, there you were. You never abandoned me, you never gave up on me and, you never stopped believing we’d be more. It was your love that gave us a future Oliver and, for that alone my heart is forever yours.” 

Minister Joe spoke softly, “Now Oliver what do you have to say?” 

Felicity felt his lips trailing over her skin, Sydney’s small hand was still clasped in her own, Oliver’s was suddenly still along her waist. Her heart raced while the moments ticked away around them. She suddenly was aware of how warm the sun felt over her back while her mind conjured up various images of what his words might be. She breathed shortly, “Ummm baby again now is a good time to speak.” 

His soft lips brushed her cheek when he dared to speak, “I prepared about a thousand different versions...each one felt incomplete once I’d scribbled out my incoherent thoughts...” He sounded nervous, she pondered quietly as he continued to softly babble. “I remembered that night back in college when we both admitted our feelings ran deeper than friendship.” His fingers tickled her waist when his errant thoughts moved them towards the next year, “I then thought that was too depressing so I tried to use our first time as the benchmark.” 

Again she heard the raw nerves of doubt ringing through his tired voice. She shifted her face until his lips were hovering over hers. She asked raggedly, “What was wrong with that moment?” 

Their lips nearly touched when he uttered, “You still were ready to run.” 

“Yeah,” she gulped while their foreheads touched, “Yeah I was but that’s not the moment you would have chosen anyways.” 

His laughter tickled her lips, “Yeah I finally figured that out when I recalled how it felt when you told me about Sydney...” 

Felicity lightly pushed, “Then take your own advice and speak from your heart instead of your head...” 

His bright smile made her lips tingle, “I love you,” he whispered before he finally took her for once fairly good advice. “You were always the runner which is strange considering how diligently I fought not to love you.” 

Felicity mumbled, “Clearly you lost that battle...” 

His bright grin turned somber, “You’re my world, that’s been true since I was twenty years old. You came in brokenhearted, crying and ready to give up on ever finding love. I was contemplating joining my other best friend on his world saving crusade until I heard your small, timid, knuckles rapping against my door. I had the vest on, the gun was at my side, my badge was around my neck and, all it took was hearing your destroyed voice to still my moving body.” 

Felicity felt her body chill, her blood froze and her lips trembled when his words once again pierced her once cold heart, “I knew in that moment before Tommy told me to stay that I’d die for you...” 

“Yeah and because of our feelings he did...” she whimpered more to herself than to anyone else. 

Oliver’s fingers fell around her waist, he muttered, “Joe I’m going to kiss her,” as their lips tenderly touched. 

Felicity heard Joe’s gruff, “Fine I assume you take each other?” 

Oliver’s lips tangled with her own as they both gave a sloppy, “Yes...” 

She heard him groan, “Fine continue kissing the bride because you’re now man and wife....” before he whispered, “It’s about damn time...” 

She ignored his parting phrase and, continued to enjoy the pressure of her husband’s lips along her own. Sydney was still balanced on her hip; his body was still hovering dangerously close to her own while she balanced her shaking body over the stair’s fourth step. He mumbled between two very long kisses, “He didn’t die because of us honey; you’re the one that proved that...” 

“Yeah but, it doesn’t erase my guilt over feeling relived that you stayed with me,” she grumbled before his tongue slowly traced over the tip of her own. 

Her lungs burned when he pushed his tongue further between her parted lips, “He died as a police officer Felicity, he died a hero...” he managed to groan before his words were lost to their tangled lips. 

She moaned inwardly while subconsciously realizing that their daughter was still between them, “Baby we have company...” she finally managed to exhale when he let them part for air. 

He leaned his forehead along her own, their noses bumped, their lips touched, and their smiles could be felt over the other’s skin, “Staying with you saved my life Felicity, our love literally saved me...” he declared almost passionately. 

She managed to babble, “Oliver we still have a very small person between us...” 

His lips teased her own, his words tested her heart, and his touch pushed her body into an all out frenzy, “You’re everything to me Felicity, you always were...” 

She bounced Sydney over her hip then kissed her husband chastely, “I think every life has a moment...” she began to whisper along his smiling lips. 

“And I believe that we have to brave enough to seize it...” he recited as they both recounted her graduation speech. 

“You were my moment Oliver, you were my chance and I’m so grateful you pushed me to seize it,” she murmured before their lips timidly touched. 

His smile along her mouth made her heart glow when he murmured back, “I love you Felicity...I completely and utterly adore you...” 

Sydney cooed almost in approval when she whispered back along their ghosting lips, “I love you Oliver, I truly do...”  

* * *

 

Present day…5 hours later...

The rain was still falling steadily, the windows were fogged and the drafty house held the chill of the looming fall weather. Felicity’s fingers ran through her hair, she stroked the strands lightly while she watched Thea’s ever changing face. Her small lips formed another shocked oh when she mumbled, “Okay so...” 

Felicity swallowed a small laugh, “You’ve said that about five times now kiddo.” 

Her counterpart nodded slowly, “Sorry but I mean seriously you guys are like a friggin love story out of a fairy tale!” 

Felicity rubbed along her ankle with her free hand before she slowly began to uncurl her blood deprived legs. Her eyes fell at the feeling of small pin pricks as the sleeping limbs slowly woke up. Her head fell to the edge of the antique couch cushion and her laughter slowly began to fill the room, “Don’t ever tell Oliver that!” 

Thea pulled her sleeping feet into her lap, “Why not? He literally healed you with love, I mean Felicity seriously that’s not everyday love that’s of the epic variety.” 

Her elated statement made Felicity stammer as the younger woman began to shift beneath her feet. “I wouldn’t say he “healed” me...it was, well....dammit,” she swore once Thea had her folded hands over her ankles. 

“Epic...” Thea whispered, “You’re love is friggin epic...” she giggled while Felicity glared. 

Her forehead was in her palm when she admitted, “He healed me didn’t he?” 

She didn’t see Thea’s nodding head, she did however feel it, “Yeah and you saved him after Tommy’s death.”  

Felicity’s stomach rolled at the mere mention of their fallen friend. “Yeah he almost followed him that night,” she gulped with tears collecting along her blinking eyes. “He was going to follow him and, because of my stupid prom disaster he didn’t...” she whispered somberly. “He chose to stay and because of that once choice...” 

“The drug dealers didn’t kill him too...” Thea stated. “His love for you saved his life when dealer’s saw the flicker of his badge.” 

Felicity rubbed her forehead against her skin, “Don’t worry Thea we worked through that one year’s ago,” she finally muttered when the younger girl began to slowly clear her throat. 

“So Ollie never blamed himself for Tommy?” 

Felicity lifted her head slowly, her saddened face would have broken Oliver’s heart but her words would have made him slowly smile, “No Peanut he tried trust me but, by then I was so in love with him that I would have followed him to the ends of the Earth if it meant he’d forgive himself.” 

“He didn’t join the academy because of you...” she murmured almost in realization. 

Felicity’s blue eyes fell as her tears trailed down her face, “No he instead chose to follow me all the way to college for what he called a fresh start.” She felt Thea’s body shuddering when she sighed hopefully, “He followed me out of love Peanut but, I’d already decided I’d follow him anywhere...” 

Thea was about to ask another question when the door to the dimly lit pallor creaked. Four eyes flew to the sound but, only one set softened and muttered, “Hey baby...” 

Thea made a low gagging sound then promptly pushed Felicity’s calves down to the floor. Felicity chuckled brightly as the younger Queen croaked in fake illness, “And now I’ll just be in the bathroom heaving...” 

Oliver brushed his palm over her short, brown hair briskly when she walked past. His tired eyes mimicked her own as he slowly crossed the room. Felicity pulled her legs back up to the vacated cushions and laid her temple over the couch’s edge. “So are my daughter’s asleep?” she questioned sweetly. 

He leaned over her upturned face and brushed her lips softly with his. His whiskered skin burned along her chin when he whispered, “Our daughter’s and yes mom’s watching them as we speak.” 

Felicity placed her hand along his waist and sighed, “So did you miss me today?” 

He pecked her lips once more briefly then growled, “Wanna see how much?’ 

She grinned as he began to lower himself over her chest. She slowly slid further into the couch so their bodies would be aligned, “You know we have housemates again...” 

He nipped at her jaw while she busied her hands with the belt of his pants, “Yet it’s you who’s undressing me...” he countered while his own hands began reaching for the hem of her shirt. 

“Before we start fucking how did they take it?” she mumbled along his earlobe.

He gazed his teeth over her skin before his tongue danced over the same path, “Fine, they weren’t thrilled but when I explained the situation they understood.”

“Eden was your scapegoat wasn’t she?” she quipped while she began pushing his shirt up and over his broad shoulders.

His fingers danced along the edge of her bra’s underwire, “Yes and are you sure we should be fucking in a fairly public area?” His question made her inner walls hiccup in hunger.

Felicity giggled then grazed her teeth over the stubble of his cheek, “I guess I like the added element of danger.” 

Oliver kissed her roughly after murmuring against her soft smile, “You always fucking did...”

* * *

 

The sharp roll of thunder caused them both to stir. Oliver mumbled against her hair, “You think Eden’s good?” 

Felicity kissed his bare chest innocently for once, “Yeah she’s like her mama she likes storms...” 

Oliver’s arms wound around her bare waist, his thumbs danced along her hips while his lips remained focused on her brow, “You told Thea about our story?” 

His question wasn’t a question but more a confirmation of fact. Felicity nuzzled his chest with her cheek and ran her fingers over the small scars along his toned stomach, “Yeah but I edited some aspects of our rather intense sexual history...” 

His laughter made the thunder seem small as the sound rattled her chest. Felicity continued to graze over the small fingernail marks while he rasped intensely, “I don’t regret that night Felicity....” 

She asked in amusement, “Which night?” 

She felt his brow rise as he pondered the question. “That’s a good question honey; considering that my small scars were received after multiple sexual encounters...” 

Felicity giggled, “Yeah we really had fun trying for Eden didn’t we?” 

“Except those healed long ago these are from last week...” 

Felicity gulped, “I guess I got a bit too carried away again?” 

Oliver pulled her closer, their legs instantly twined as the thunder rolled through the darkened skies, “Not when consider how bruised your neck and inner thighs were...” 

His admission made her wonder aloud, “Do you ever wonder why I fought us for so long?” 

He pressed his lips to her temple once more, her cheek burned when her chest vibrated beneath his skin, “No. I knew we’d be more I just didn’t know how long it would take.” 

Felicity pressed her chin along his right pectoral, “How?” 

“Tommy,” he answered quickly. 

Her nose wrinkled, “It’s still strange to me considering he never really approved of our rather unique relationship. Hell he thought it was gross if I recall correctly.” 

Oliver mumbled lightly in reply, “You know that he told me to stay behind Felicity, he saw you running up the driveway before you even knocked on my door.” Oliver’s voice fell as the memory finally came into the light. “He told me to choose the person I loved over a job I hated. He went to the bust while I stayed behind and kissed you. He chose the job and as always I ran after you. I was always going to run after you...” he finished with tears clogging his throat. 

She reached around his torso and hugged him tightly, “So being a detective for the SPCD?” she asked quickly. 

“Was his dream Felicity, my dream was always a life with you as you well know,” he replied hoarsely. “My dreams all began and ended with you...” he whispered into yet another soft kiss along the base of her brow. 

Felicity’s lips fell to his chest, her fingers clung to the skin of his waist while her body teemed for more, “Have a told you I love you today?” she whimpered as she slowly began moving to cover his chest. 

His hands fell to her waist, her thighs parted as his erection grew, his eyes flew shut when she slid down his aroused skin, his lips quivered when he rasped, “Yes, you tell me everyday...” 

She began to move above him slowly. His body adjusted to meet her; she pulled his hands from her waist and guided his large palms to her heaving breasts. He flicked his thumbs over her pebbled nipples as her body arced. “You’re my dream too by the way,” she immediately mumbled before the moment carried them away. 

The wind howled and, carried on as they slowly become one. Thea slept soundly in her room down the hall in the next wing. Moira and Robert cradled their sleeping grandchild in the downstairs kitchen. The world was quiet and, their family was whole. Felicity felt her body beginning to weaken as lightning lit the darkened sky. Her blood raced, her body shuddered and her heart grew as the thunder whispered lowly through her healed soul...

“Love saves us, love heals us, love gives us life. Don’t be afraid of falling in love. Be afraid of missing the moment when you do...” 

She felt her body beginning to shatter, she wanted the moment to spread through her entire soul so she began to lean forward. Her forehead fell over his, their lips connected briefly, their shared whispers melted into kiss after kiss. She felt the sweat rolling along her spine while his fingers traced over her dampened skin. She breathed gratefully against his plundered mouth, “I’m so glad I didn’t miss you...” 

His growled reply came slowly as they once again became one, “As am I...” 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment it makes my day!


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